The Sons just don't get it. For the life of them, they are incapable of putting laundry in the hamper or trash in the garbage can.
I've tried telling them. I've done the "don't put it away for them, call them into the room and make them do it" thing. I've put wastebaskets in every room. All to no avail. As a friend put it yesterday, they just do not see the baskets and bins I've stationed throughout the house.
And that's when it hit me: They see naked people.
I want Playboy-quality photographs of hot young women on the floors of my house, in both carpet and tile. Not only will my sons constantly be looking down, they'll be loathe to let anything cover the view. The graphic depictions of male sex organs painted on the inside of my hampers and garbage cans will be perfect inspiration for them, too.
Yes, my female friends and I will find the decor a bit unsettling, at first, but I figure it will not only greatly increase the frequency and length of visits from males of all ages, it will serve as diet and exercise inspiration to us all.
And Hubby's friends will constantly remind him that he has the coolest wife ever.
I can't lose.
Tuesday, February 03, 2009
Sunday, February 01, 2009
Say "Great Satan" again.
Yeah, all that to say I agree with Iran, this time around. Telling Ahmadinejad that we want to talk to them doesn't make them want to talk to us. It makes them see we are choosing passivity and weakness, and convinces the crazy, violent portion of that part of the world that they can do whatever they want because we won't even try to slow them down.
Hopefully, at some point, we will wise up and demand Iran takes us seriously.
Saturday, January 31, 2009
Birthday Candle Arrangement Tips for the Aged
#1: Don't put them all together in "brick" formation.
Son #4 did that with Hubby's cake this week, and not only did it make a terrifying and rather smokey bonfire, it required quite a lot of lung power to extinguish.
Tip #2: If your family DOES put all your candles together in one spot, and you are going to have to blow really hard to put them out, spit out your cough drop, first, or it will end up on the cake.
That's yucky.
But, we all love Hubby and we all love cake, so it's not like that kept us from eating it all. The Sons just waited long enough to verify it was only a cough drop, not a chunk of lung.
Call me! On the line...
Hubby, Son #1 and I got new cell phones on Thursday. Hubby wanted to consolidate his bill with mine, and to get something with a QWERTY keyboard for his phone, and Son #1 wanted to actually HAVE a phone.
Since then, Hubby has been a bit frustrated with the new phone. All the buttons are different from the last one, so he has to re-learn. And I have been consigned to manually transferring all my contacts, because Verizon and Virgin cannot communicate with each other. So close together in the alphabet, you'd think they'd get along, but noooo.
The only one really happy has been Son #1, who received a naked photo yesterday from some young woman who did not realize that Alex, who she loves, has changed cell phone numbers without informing her. Son #1 is not Alex, but, he really appreciates the thought, you know?
Since then, Hubby has been a bit frustrated with the new phone. All the buttons are different from the last one, so he has to re-learn. And I have been consigned to manually transferring all my contacts, because Verizon and Virgin cannot communicate with each other. So close together in the alphabet, you'd think they'd get along, but noooo.
The only one really happy has been Son #1, who received a naked photo yesterday from some young woman who did not realize that Alex, who she loves, has changed cell phone numbers without informing her. Son #1 is not Alex, but, he really appreciates the thought, you know?
Thursday, January 29, 2009
On this day in 1964
The 9th Winter Olympic Games opened in Innsbruck, Austria.
Dr Strangelove was released to theaters.
The Beatles recorded Can't Buy Me Love at Pathé Marconi Studios, Paris, France.
Philip Morris suggested laughter as the best medicine to combat the Surgeon General's report on cigarette smoking.
The San Francisco cable car system was declared a national historic landmark.
NASA launched the Saturn 5.
And, well, a lot of other stuff happened, too. Most importantly, though, to me, Hubby was born.
Happy Birthday, Hubby!
Dr Strangelove was released to theaters.
The Beatles recorded Can't Buy Me Love at Pathé Marconi Studios, Paris, France.
Philip Morris suggested laughter as the best medicine to combat the Surgeon General's report on cigarette smoking.
The San Francisco cable car system was declared a national historic landmark.
NASA launched the Saturn 5.
And, well, a lot of other stuff happened, too. Most importantly, though, to me, Hubby was born.
Happy Birthday, Hubby!
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
And the seas have not yet parted
The Brits won't take some of the Gitmo prisoners Obama wants to send their way. Can't send them back to Chad, etc., because they might be abused in their home states. Can't keep 'em here, because he has pretty much made that whole Kumbayah thing a major part of his plan as President. And he seemed to think that the Europeans would just jump at the chance to help him out.
Britain and the European countries want some kinda proof that these guys aren't going to be dangerous to them, before they take them in. Which, yeah, is one of those things a lot of Americans want, too. Maybe Obama and friends shouldn't have worked so hard to convince everyone that Bush was holding decent, freedom-loving Muslims at Guantanamo Bay just for shits and giggles.
As Bugs Bunny would say, "It is to laugh."
Britain and the European countries want some kinda proof that these guys aren't going to be dangerous to them, before they take them in. Which, yeah, is one of those things a lot of Americans want, too. Maybe Obama and friends shouldn't have worked so hard to convince everyone that Bush was holding decent, freedom-loving Muslims at Guantanamo Bay just for shits and giggles.
As Bugs Bunny would say, "It is to laugh."
WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME?
Son #2 is 15. He is smart, and sweet, and a great writer (although not entirely committed to the concept of turning his work in on time, at school. He'd rather work on whatever is on his mind, for fun. The school system is only there to destroy him.)
He is also 6'4" and still growing. His hair falls to his collar in glossy, chestnut curls. And he has a very deep voice. For years, I've been telling him, "Don't you worry. You hit college, and the girl thing is going to get very easy for you." He does not believe me. But, trust me, I have complimented him on his appearance. I have encouraged him to go out for theater. I have told him he has a very attractive voice.
But I am Mom.
Last week, the Sons were playing around with a video recorder. First time in years Son #2 had heard himself, recorded. He ran up the stairs, swathed in fake seriousness.
"MOM! Why didn't you TELL me I have such a buttery, man-muffin voice?"
So, there you go. My second son is a buttery man-muffin. Pass it on.
He is also 6'4" and still growing. His hair falls to his collar in glossy, chestnut curls. And he has a very deep voice. For years, I've been telling him, "Don't you worry. You hit college, and the girl thing is going to get very easy for you." He does not believe me. But, trust me, I have complimented him on his appearance. I have encouraged him to go out for theater. I have told him he has a very attractive voice.
But I am Mom.
Last week, the Sons were playing around with a video recorder. First time in years Son #2 had heard himself, recorded. He ran up the stairs, swathed in fake seriousness.
"MOM! Why didn't you TELL me I have such a buttery, man-muffin voice?"
So, there you go. My second son is a buttery man-muffin. Pass it on.
Thursday, January 22, 2009
666: The Number of the Blog Posts
Yes, I have been blogging for a bit. 666 posts, today. Feel free to waste time reading the early stuff. Genius, all of it, and scintillating.
And, in a similarly beastly vein, WHY have I been getting all these spam emails telling me that someone is going to Fedex me boxes of cash? Honestly, if you want to send me money you can have it wired. Or use PayPal. I would give you my PayPal email to accept the gobs of cash I won in the British Lottery, or inherited from some distant relative in Africa, or whatever. Don't waste a penny of it on shipping, ok?
And, in a similarly beastly vein, WHY have I been getting all these spam emails telling me that someone is going to Fedex me boxes of cash? Honestly, if you want to send me money you can have it wired. Or use PayPal. I would give you my PayPal email to accept the gobs of cash I won in the British Lottery, or inherited from some distant relative in Africa, or whatever. Don't waste a penny of it on shipping, ok?
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
Pounding Sand at Cryer's Back Road Inn, this Saturday
Plan ahead, all y'all, because Hubby's band, Pounding Sand, is playing at Cryer's Back Road Inn on January 24th.
I LOVE when Hubby plays at Cryer's. It's a great bar for dancing and Doug will be there. Which may lead to a small group of us Doing the Doug away from the Country Store Blues Jam. Can't miss that.
Classic and modern rock, some funky, danceable stuff, and the bass player most likely to get Penelope to move Stateside: it will be awesome. You should come.
Really, you should.
I LOVE when Hubby plays at Cryer's. It's a great bar for dancing and Doug will be there. Which may lead to a small group of us Doing the Doug away from the Country Store Blues Jam. Can't miss that.
Classic and modern rock, some funky, danceable stuff, and the bass player most likely to get Penelope to move Stateside: it will be awesome. You should come.
Really, you should.
Monday, January 19, 2009
I Been Tagged
Thanks to Jill. So, here are 7 random things about me:
I do not generally drink. When I do, it is almost always Malibu Rum & Diet Coke. I also can be persuaded to suck down one of those girly frozen drinks, or perhaps a Mojito. And Scotch is good, too. But only on occasion.
My grandmother gives me recipes from beyond the grave, in my sleep. So far I know how to make her stuffing and her cheese & bacon turnips, because I woke up from dreams of her with the recipes in my head. These are dishes I never ate at her table, but when I make them, my father is instantly transported back to his childhood in 1940s New York, because that was the last time he ate them. I find this oddly comforting.
I really stink at self-censorship. I pretty much say what I am thinking, and only realize it was horridly inappropriate because of the look of shocked disgust on my listener's face. So, um, feel free to stop me. You may have to make a few faces before I get the hint.
I love tulips and daffodils, gardenias and jasmine.
I really don't like oysters. Let them stay in the Bay, filter feeding. I don't even want to watch you eating them.
I have hot feet. Ask anyone. I nearly always wear sandals, even in winter. And not those clunky Birkenstocks, either: cute sandals. Because I also have hawt feet.
I am not much of a homebody. I come from a long line of women who, when the phone rings, will leave the dishes on the table and run to get in the car. I do eventually make it home and tackle the mess, but...I am not going to turn down a good time just because I have chores to do. That stuff is gonna be here whether I had a blast tonight or not.
(tonight I did not. I have a head cold, instead, like the entire family, and I can barely stand. but you KNOW that last night I made it out for blues jam)
In honor of that head cold, and the fact that my brain is not entirely functioning, I am not going to link to a bunch of you. I am just too beat. So, if you read this far, consider yourself tagged.
I do not generally drink. When I do, it is almost always Malibu Rum & Diet Coke. I also can be persuaded to suck down one of those girly frozen drinks, or perhaps a Mojito. And Scotch is good, too. But only on occasion.
My grandmother gives me recipes from beyond the grave, in my sleep. So far I know how to make her stuffing and her cheese & bacon turnips, because I woke up from dreams of her with the recipes in my head. These are dishes I never ate at her table, but when I make them, my father is instantly transported back to his childhood in 1940s New York, because that was the last time he ate them. I find this oddly comforting.
I really stink at self-censorship. I pretty much say what I am thinking, and only realize it was horridly inappropriate because of the look of shocked disgust on my listener's face. So, um, feel free to stop me. You may have to make a few faces before I get the hint.
I love tulips and daffodils, gardenias and jasmine.
I really don't like oysters. Let them stay in the Bay, filter feeding. I don't even want to watch you eating them.
I have hot feet. Ask anyone. I nearly always wear sandals, even in winter. And not those clunky Birkenstocks, either: cute sandals. Because I also have hawt feet.
I am not much of a homebody. I come from a long line of women who, when the phone rings, will leave the dishes on the table and run to get in the car. I do eventually make it home and tackle the mess, but...I am not going to turn down a good time just because I have chores to do. That stuff is gonna be here whether I had a blast tonight or not.
(tonight I did not. I have a head cold, instead, like the entire family, and I can barely stand. but you KNOW that last night I made it out for blues jam)
In honor of that head cold, and the fact that my brain is not entirely functioning, I am not going to link to a bunch of you. I am just too beat. So, if you read this far, consider yourself tagged.
Saturday, January 17, 2009
Making peace with the clutter
I am not a sentimental person, really. Getting rid of stuff is pretty easy for me, most of the time.
Don't get me wrong, I have kept a few things around just because they came from someone special, or remind me of something that matters. But I do not have collections of knicknacks. I prefer a bare surface to almost anything else. I've got that Spartan spirit! Wooo!
(Please shut up about the giant basket of lip products, the heap of nail products, and the closet full of shoes. This has nothing to do with that. Wipe that smirk off your face.)
A while back, frustrated with the state of our house, I decided to get down to business on the clutter front. Because I hate it anyway, and it was making life a hassle, and making the house feel oppressively crammed with stuff, to me.
I got rid of a lot. If I could come up with any excuse to sell, donate, give away or throw away the item in my hand, it went out the door. I became a big fan of eBay, and Freecycle, and the local thrift store.
Today I drove a carload of stuff to the thrift store, came home, took a look around, and thought, "I don't know that I can get rid of anything else around here, without getting rid of family members, first."
It's an odd feeling.
We still have plenty of books, but let me tell you they are good books. We have plenty of musical gear and CDs, and two talented musicians in the house. We have lots of legos, and every game system known to man, and there's little you can do to make those look tidy. And the kids each have their collections of Stuff. Well, not Son #1, so much. He is not a keeper. But the rest of them do.
But aside from that, there really isn't much here that we don't need, or use, or love, or appreciate somehow on a regular basis.
I'm not sure what to do with that. I mean...decluttering had become a bit of a crusade for me. And now, well, even though the house still has more stuff in it than makes me feel comfortable, I think I have done enough. Just because I like flat, smooth surfaces doesn't mean the entire family has to live like that.
So, I guess, at this point I can move on to what I had always said I would do, once the clutter was under control: keep a clean house, and write more, and enjoy the space.
Having a time wrapping my head around that.
Don't get me wrong, I have kept a few things around just because they came from someone special, or remind me of something that matters. But I do not have collections of knicknacks. I prefer a bare surface to almost anything else. I've got that Spartan spirit! Wooo!
(Please shut up about the giant basket of lip products, the heap of nail products, and the closet full of shoes. This has nothing to do with that. Wipe that smirk off your face.)
A while back, frustrated with the state of our house, I decided to get down to business on the clutter front. Because I hate it anyway, and it was making life a hassle, and making the house feel oppressively crammed with stuff, to me.
I got rid of a lot. If I could come up with any excuse to sell, donate, give away or throw away the item in my hand, it went out the door. I became a big fan of eBay, and Freecycle, and the local thrift store.
Today I drove a carload of stuff to the thrift store, came home, took a look around, and thought, "I don't know that I can get rid of anything else around here, without getting rid of family members, first."
It's an odd feeling.
We still have plenty of books, but let me tell you they are good books. We have plenty of musical gear and CDs, and two talented musicians in the house. We have lots of legos, and every game system known to man, and there's little you can do to make those look tidy. And the kids each have their collections of Stuff. Well, not Son #1, so much. He is not a keeper. But the rest of them do.
But aside from that, there really isn't much here that we don't need, or use, or love, or appreciate somehow on a regular basis.
I'm not sure what to do with that. I mean...decluttering had become a bit of a crusade for me. And now, well, even though the house still has more stuff in it than makes me feel comfortable, I think I have done enough. Just because I like flat, smooth surfaces doesn't mean the entire family has to live like that.
So, I guess, at this point I can move on to what I had always said I would do, once the clutter was under control: keep a clean house, and write more, and enjoy the space.
Having a time wrapping my head around that.
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
Things They Don't Tell You About Life With Musicians
Hubby and Son #1 are both musicians--Hubby actually gets paid for it, while Son #1 is still hunkered in the garage for the most part.
Everyone knows I love to hear them practice and love even more to hear Hubby on stage. What they might notknow:
--The best way to convince your musician that his new amp is sufficient: tell him you can feel it in your chest, and all along the side of your jaw. Because, truly, he doesn't want to be loud enough. He wants to know that at some point he could be too loud.
--If the vacuum starts making a horrible burning smell, it probably has a guitar string wrapped around the beater bar. This happens once or twice a month.
--I find guitar picks hiding in the oddest places. The ashtray of my car. The back of the linen closet. I usually have one in my purse. Need one? Ask. Or, you know, just reach around.
Everyone knows I love to hear them practice and love even more to hear Hubby on stage. What they might notknow:
--The best way to convince your musician that his new amp is sufficient: tell him you can feel it in your chest, and all along the side of your jaw. Because, truly, he doesn't want to be loud enough. He wants to know that at some point he could be too loud.
--If the vacuum starts making a horrible burning smell, it probably has a guitar string wrapped around the beater bar. This happens once or twice a month.
--I find guitar picks hiding in the oddest places. The ashtray of my car. The back of the linen closet. I usually have one in my purse. Need one? Ask. Or, you know, just reach around.
Monday, January 12, 2009
Victoria's Secret Burned My Dinner!
Last night I joined some local ladies for a night in the hot tub. A sedate affair, and relaxing, but as the youngest woman there I had to rock the cleavage, right?
OK, so today I washed my tankini in the washing machine. And when it came out, the push-up pads had fallen out.
And they look weird.
I wasn't sure how to get them in right, but I gave it a shot. And they didn't look right to me.
"I need a tutorial," I thought. So, I put dinner on the stove and called Customer Service.
Barry just laughed and transferred me to one of his female coworkers. Such disappointment! Isn't that why Barry got a job at the Vic Secret Customer Service hotline? Eh, maybe not.
Boy, that rice smells good. Just about time to put the pork chops on, as soon as I talk to Marissa.
She was no help, either. Apparently all the push-up pads in their suits are the same, they go in the same, there is no instruction or chart or anything, I just have to fiddle with it and play with it and eventually it will smooth out.
Or, you know, not.
Around this time, I noticed the burning smell.
So, now it is nearly 7, I am on a second pot of rice, the pork chops are half cooked, and I have a deconstructed tankini top on my desk. Which I shall play with until it looks right.
I hope.
OK, so today I washed my tankini in the washing machine. And when it came out, the push-up pads had fallen out.
And they look weird.
I wasn't sure how to get them in right, but I gave it a shot. And they didn't look right to me.
"I need a tutorial," I thought. So, I put dinner on the stove and called Customer Service.
Barry just laughed and transferred me to one of his female coworkers. Such disappointment! Isn't that why Barry got a job at the Vic Secret Customer Service hotline? Eh, maybe not.
Boy, that rice smells good. Just about time to put the pork chops on, as soon as I talk to Marissa.
She was no help, either. Apparently all the push-up pads in their suits are the same, they go in the same, there is no instruction or chart or anything, I just have to fiddle with it and play with it and eventually it will smooth out.
Or, you know, not.
Around this time, I noticed the burning smell.
So, now it is nearly 7, I am on a second pot of rice, the pork chops are half cooked, and I have a deconstructed tankini top on my desk. Which I shall play with until it looks right.
I hope.
Friday, January 09, 2009
A Mall, and a milestone
Last night I took Son #3 and Son #4 to the mall, to exchange a Christmas gift and use up their gift cards. The nearest mall is an hour from our house, so...kind of a big deal, if you are 12 or 13.
Leaving GameStop, the Sons noticed a small child frantically calling for his mommy.
Yeah, the Sons get all the credit. I was not paying attention.
OK, so we looked around and didn't see anyone who could qualify for this little kid's mom, so Son #3 volunteered to track down a police officer while Son #4 and I bought the boy a lemonade.
Fear goes better with lemonade, when you are maybe 3 years old, we figured.
The lemonade, mall cops and missing mother all arrived at around the same time. As the Sons and I were relaxing in the food court, I realized: for the first time, our boys FOUND a lost kid, instead of BEING a lost kid.
Pretty flippin' awesome.
Leaving GameStop, the Sons noticed a small child frantically calling for his mommy.
Yeah, the Sons get all the credit. I was not paying attention.
OK, so we looked around and didn't see anyone who could qualify for this little kid's mom, so Son #3 volunteered to track down a police officer while Son #4 and I bought the boy a lemonade.
Fear goes better with lemonade, when you are maybe 3 years old, we figured.
The lemonade, mall cops and missing mother all arrived at around the same time. As the Sons and I were relaxing in the food court, I realized: for the first time, our boys FOUND a lost kid, instead of BEING a lost kid.
Pretty flippin' awesome.
Wednesday, January 07, 2009
For those of you with a particular New Year's Resolution
Today, while bolting through the grocery store, I discovered these: and, damn, they are good.
So, yeah, if you are trying to eat more healthy food but you still love chocolate, you're welcome.
So, yeah, if you are trying to eat more healthy food but you still love chocolate, you're welcome.
Well, I think it's cool, anyway
A friend of mine joined a Flikr group for the year, and mentioned it to me with just enough time before the deadline so I could do it, too. We're each posting one photo per day.
So far, it is fun.
Wanna see? I am on there as cebasham.
So far, it is fun.
Wanna see? I am on there as cebasham.
Tuesday, January 06, 2009
Dear Idiot Bitch
You think you can ignore us for the holiday season and we'll be ready for you when you come back? You think you can just rely on us when you want to, and everything will be just fine?
Think again.
We kinda hate you right now, and you are going to have to just deal with it. Don't come crying to us. It is all your fault, and you know it.
Suck it up,
Your Hamstrings
Think again.
We kinda hate you right now, and you are going to have to just deal with it. Don't come crying to us. It is all your fault, and you know it.
Suck it up,
Your Hamstrings
Thursday, January 01, 2009
Stuff I'm not supposed to like
Velveeta. I know. It is not food. But when it comes to mac & cheese, actual cheese does not do it.
Dennis Miller. Everybody says his metaphors are weird, but...he made me stay awake through football, OK? Hilarious.
Teenage boys. Trust me. They are a hoot. And teenage girls are way scarier.
U2. Monotonous, overplayed, and with that Bono idiot as a frontman. I know. But what can I say? I am of the U2 generation, I guess, so I like them. Sometimes. Would I pay to see them? No. But I like "One".
Driving, especially on long trips or in traffic. Just gimme the keys, ok?
Those couple-or-six grey hairs showing up on the top of my head. Eh, maybe I'll start freaking out about that when they invite their friends, but so far I am ok with them.
Hello Kitty. Yes, in 2009, I am coming clean as a fan. Not all varieties, but she does occasionally catch my eye.
Stubble. Hubby thinks it looks sloppy, but I think the he-hasn't-shaved-all-weekend look can be smokin' hot. Lucky him, huh?
And now, I shall get back to being productive.
Dennis Miller. Everybody says his metaphors are weird, but...he made me stay awake through football, OK? Hilarious.
Teenage boys. Trust me. They are a hoot. And teenage girls are way scarier.
U2. Monotonous, overplayed, and with that Bono idiot as a frontman. I know. But what can I say? I am of the U2 generation, I guess, so I like them. Sometimes. Would I pay to see them? No. But I like "One".
Driving, especially on long trips or in traffic. Just gimme the keys, ok?
Those couple-or-six grey hairs showing up on the top of my head. Eh, maybe I'll start freaking out about that when they invite their friends, but so far I am ok with them.
Hello Kitty. Yes, in 2009, I am coming clean as a fan. Not all varieties, but she does occasionally catch my eye.
Stubble. Hubby thinks it looks sloppy, but I think the he-hasn't-shaved-all-weekend look can be smokin' hot. Lucky him, huh?
And now, I shall get back to being productive.
Happy New Year 2009
I'm supposed to be working right now, but I just had to mention the Most Awkward Christmas Gift of 2008.
Son #1 received Etiquette for Dummies from his grandmother.
Nothing says "Love" to a 17 year old boy, like a book that says on the cover that his grandmother thinks he is stupid and rude.
I refrained from telling the grandmother that it is rude to give another person a "for dummies" book OR an etiquette book, unless said title has been requested by the recipient. But this was not a case of "Darn, grandma, I need some help over here, can you give me 'Wedding Etiquette for Dummies' so I don't make a total fool of myself?" This was an angry grandmother, making a statement.
Duly noted, and acknowledged, although you can bet she's not getting a thank you note.
Son #1 received Etiquette for Dummies from his grandmother.
Nothing says "Love" to a 17 year old boy, like a book that says on the cover that his grandmother thinks he is stupid and rude.
I refrained from telling the grandmother that it is rude to give another person a "for dummies" book OR an etiquette book, unless said title has been requested by the recipient. But this was not a case of "Darn, grandma, I need some help over here, can you give me 'Wedding Etiquette for Dummies' so I don't make a total fool of myself?" This was an angry grandmother, making a statement.
Duly noted, and acknowledged, although you can bet she's not getting a thank you note.
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
A taste of Pounding Sand
Hubby's band played the office Christmas party. Someone nudged the video camera, so you can't see the guitarist or the drummer or the fabulous banner I made, but you CAN see Hubby on bass, and what more do you need in concert footage? Next gig is at Cryer's Back Road Inn, on January 24th. You know you want to be there.
Saturday, December 27, 2008
My dog has night terrors
Otis, our pug, is napping by my desk. He just broke into a horrific, keening wail, in his sleep. It is just about the worst sound you could ever hear.
Being the loving pet owner I am, I leaned down and shouted, "Otis! Honey! It's OK! Wake up! Otis! You're OK!" And he did wake up, calm down, and go back to sleep.
He has only done this a handful of times, all within the past few years. Never as a younger dog. Part of me would love to be able to see what he sees, because dear GOD it is terrifying, and his life is about as dull and predictable and gravy-soaked as a dog could ever hope it to be. I have no idea what could be that upsetting. But I will tell you, that sound cuts through me like a buzz saw to the brain.
Then again, anything that scares him that much would probably be a bit more than I want to witness, I guess.
Being the loving pet owner I am, I leaned down and shouted, "Otis! Honey! It's OK! Wake up! Otis! You're OK!" And he did wake up, calm down, and go back to sleep.
He has only done this a handful of times, all within the past few years. Never as a younger dog. Part of me would love to be able to see what he sees, because dear GOD it is terrifying, and his life is about as dull and predictable and gravy-soaked as a dog could ever hope it to be. I have no idea what could be that upsetting. But I will tell you, that sound cuts through me like a buzz saw to the brain.
Then again, anything that scares him that much would probably be a bit more than I want to witness, I guess.
Monday, December 22, 2008
Yeah, that sounds good, too
Weird fact about Christine, #38: I tend to sit here and read about the nutritional profile of my food, as I eat it.
So, yeah, I'm reading about the stuff I just dumped in my tea, and I started adding more stuff. Right now I'm leaning over a hot steaming mug with a tea bag, a couple of cardamom pods, some cloves, a slice of ginger and a cinnamon stick. You instant tea people can have your way, but me, I have something to chew on, later.
Which may be disgusting, I suppose. But, hey, I'm not making YOU fish out a cardamom pod and chew it, so keep yer hands off my mug.
Completely OT? I hate Sears. I hate them all. I hate their crappy selection of stuff, their bizarre system of starting the checkout line a full 15 feet away from the cash register, and the fact that I spent hours there, last night, giving them money in exchange for Christmas gifts.
So, yeah, I'm reading about the stuff I just dumped in my tea, and I started adding more stuff. Right now I'm leaning over a hot steaming mug with a tea bag, a couple of cardamom pods, some cloves, a slice of ginger and a cinnamon stick. You instant tea people can have your way, but me, I have something to chew on, later.
Which may be disgusting, I suppose. But, hey, I'm not making YOU fish out a cardamom pod and chew it, so keep yer hands off my mug.
Completely OT? I hate Sears. I hate them all. I hate their crappy selection of stuff, their bizarre system of starting the checkout line a full 15 feet away from the cash register, and the fact that I spent hours there, last night, giving them money in exchange for Christmas gifts.
Saturday, December 20, 2008
Perfection Makes Perfect
About 20 years ago, Hubby and I got a fortune cookie that rocked our world. It was not a fortune at all. It said, "Perfection makes perfect."
What the heck? We laughed about that cookie for ages.
At the time, we did not see it for what it was: a harbinger of a new day when fortune cookies wouldd not predict your future, but just piled words on you, or revisited the wisdom of your crankiest elderly relatives.
Tonight, we ordered Chinese food. Here is the sad collection of modern fortune cookie contents we endured tonight; wisdom, opinion, and wishes abound: only one could qualify as a fortune:
Share your joys and sorrows with your family.
Society prepares the crime; the criminal commits it.
Wish you a long life.
You are sociable and entertaining.
If you want to have a friend, you have to be one.
Serious trouble will bypass you.
Honestly, fortune cookie manufacturers of the world: you can do better.
On an unrelated, holiday-oriented note, Christmas preparations continue:
Two of the Sons have purchased their Secret Santa presents for their assigned brothers.
The second Christmas tree is up and decorated.
The presents we already have bought, are wrapped. Which leaves me with an updated shopping list I need to tackle, this week.
My mother came down with her annual gingerbread house extravaganza and Christmas ornament shopping trip. We are all on a sugar high.
For the third year in a row, the ornament I chose broke, before we could get it out of the bag. Traditions, man.
What the heck? We laughed about that cookie for ages.
At the time, we did not see it for what it was: a harbinger of a new day when fortune cookies wouldd not predict your future, but just piled words on you, or revisited the wisdom of your crankiest elderly relatives.
Tonight, we ordered Chinese food. Here is the sad collection of modern fortune cookie contents we endured tonight; wisdom, opinion, and wishes abound: only one could qualify as a fortune:
Share your joys and sorrows with your family.
Society prepares the crime; the criminal commits it.
Wish you a long life.
You are sociable and entertaining.
If you want to have a friend, you have to be one.
Serious trouble will bypass you.
Honestly, fortune cookie manufacturers of the world: you can do better.
On an unrelated, holiday-oriented note, Christmas preparations continue:
Two of the Sons have purchased their Secret Santa presents for their assigned brothers.
The second Christmas tree is up and decorated.
The presents we already have bought, are wrapped. Which leaves me with an updated shopping list I need to tackle, this week.
My mother came down with her annual gingerbread house extravaganza and Christmas ornament shopping trip. We are all on a sugar high.
For the third year in a row, the ornament I chose broke, before we could get it out of the bag. Traditions, man.
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
One Christmas Tree is up
Hubby and I have always done a real Christmas tree. A few years ago, we realized that the cats found the secret spots beneath the tree to be the ideal place to, um, "go", so we replaced the Christmas tree in the basement with an artificial tree.
You'd think that meant we stopped having a real tree, but no. Now we have the Christmas Morning Fake Basement Tree for present opening purposes, and the Upstairs Real Tree for smelling-like-Christmas purposes. Kind of excessive, for a Scrooge like me, but, ok, I can get with the program.
Today the house was fairly clean, I have 2 weeks before my next deadline, and so everything else can kind of wait a bit. I decided to crank up the tunes and decorate at least one tree.
The Upstairs Real Tree is now decorated. It is not a great tree--and Hubby has spoiled me with years of consistently breathtaking trees, so maybe a normal person would not even complain about the tree we've got. But I look at it and I think, "This tree is weird".
It's not just the tree. It's the ornaments.
We have a wooden ornament in the shape of Texas. We have no Texas history at all. No Texan family. Hubby and I have never been to Texas. But there is a red Texas on my tree. It says "Merry Christmas, Y'all!" All my blog readers in Texas can feel included in the holiday spirit at chez Waste of Time. Ok.
We also have a china dog bone with holly on it. My mother gave it to us, for our dog. She gives us a dog ornament every year, because one day Otis will move out and have a tree of his own and this way he'll have a head start on an ornament collection. Only this dog bone looks for all the world like an erection. A big brown dog bone is fucking my tree, right by the living room window. But it has holly and ribbons on it, so it's festive, OK?
We have the collection of ornaments made by the Sons, when they were smaller, and even a few I made myself as a young girl. No problem there. A certain level of homemade tackiness is important to the holiday. But WHAT possessed Son #1's teacher to use that photo? The one where his poor little 2nd-grade self looks like he would rather stab himself in the eye than pose for the shot? Eh, she was a crappy teacher and we all hated her, anyway. Fine.
Now that I look at it, I think the tree is perfect, for this year. A little quirky, a little obnoxious, a bit of an attitude problem in spots, but all sparkly-glowy where it counts.
Merry Christmas, y'all.
You'd think that meant we stopped having a real tree, but no. Now we have the Christmas Morning Fake Basement Tree for present opening purposes, and the Upstairs Real Tree for smelling-like-Christmas purposes. Kind of excessive, for a Scrooge like me, but, ok, I can get with the program.
Today the house was fairly clean, I have 2 weeks before my next deadline, and so everything else can kind of wait a bit. I decided to crank up the tunes and decorate at least one tree.
The Upstairs Real Tree is now decorated. It is not a great tree--and Hubby has spoiled me with years of consistently breathtaking trees, so maybe a normal person would not even complain about the tree we've got. But I look at it and I think, "This tree is weird".
It's not just the tree. It's the ornaments.
We have a wooden ornament in the shape of Texas. We have no Texas history at all. No Texan family. Hubby and I have never been to Texas. But there is a red Texas on my tree. It says "Merry Christmas, Y'all!" All my blog readers in Texas can feel included in the holiday spirit at chez Waste of Time. Ok.
We also have a china dog bone with holly on it. My mother gave it to us, for our dog. She gives us a dog ornament every year, because one day Otis will move out and have a tree of his own and this way he'll have a head start on an ornament collection. Only this dog bone looks for all the world like an erection. A big brown dog bone is fucking my tree, right by the living room window. But it has holly and ribbons on it, so it's festive, OK?
We have the collection of ornaments made by the Sons, when they were smaller, and even a few I made myself as a young girl. No problem there. A certain level of homemade tackiness is important to the holiday. But WHAT possessed Son #1's teacher to use that photo? The one where his poor little 2nd-grade self looks like he would rather stab himself in the eye than pose for the shot? Eh, she was a crappy teacher and we all hated her, anyway. Fine.
Now that I look at it, I think the tree is perfect, for this year. A little quirky, a little obnoxious, a bit of an attitude problem in spots, but all sparkly-glowy where it counts.
Merry Christmas, y'all.
Friday, December 12, 2008
It's not exactly Frost/Nixon, but...
Penelope has agreed to interview me. If you'd like to play along, the rules follow at the bottom. And you should. It's your chance to be risk-taking AND the center of attention.
1. As we know, you have 4 sons. Were you tempted to try again for a girl or do you think boys are best?
I think Hubby would have enjoyed a girl, but I would not wish a teenage daughter on anyone, so I am very happy with the 4 we have. Not to mention, my great-grandmother was the 17th child in her family, and the FIRST girl...so, you know, there was no guarantee I would have produced one, anyway.
2. You have a super bass playing husband. Would you be tempted to loan him out? (Across The Pond perhaps?) ;o)
For bass playing purposes? Oh, absolutely. He lays down some of the funkiest bass lines you'll ever hear in a crappy southern Maryland bar. He can also play drums, and some guitar. And he can open a beer with anything. So, you know, he is the life of any party. Of course, if he is going to cross the pond to play bass, he will need a roadie---I think I qualify.
3. If you could do any job at all, what would it be?
I would love to be able to write more, and do more creative stuff. Not art, exactly, but interesting and decorative things. All of which requires much more time. Because, dammit, those 4 sons of mine have a nasty habit of trashing the house and requiring transportation all over the known world. So, in a way, I am fortunate in that I can SEE my ideal job, and occasionally brush my hand against it. Makes me think that at some point I will be able to achieve it all.
4. What do you never leave home without?
My GPS. A small, digital camera. My cell phone (although today Son #2 took it to school, so I have been groping for it all afternoon). And a heaping helping of Catholic guilt.
5. What is your secret to a successful family life?
Forgiveness.
Here is the small print if you would like to play along. Bear in mind that if you do, I'll be the one asking the questions this time!
Link back to the original post - in my case that was this.
Put the rest of the rules in your post:
1. Leave me a comment saying, "Interview me." (Or email me cebasham at gmail dot com)
2. I will respond by emailing you five questions. I get to pick the questions.
3. You will update your blog with the answers to the questions.
4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.
So, to all and sundry, you really should ask me to interview you. I promise to be...aw, heck, I promise nothing, but it might be fun. Thanks, Penelope!
1. As we know, you have 4 sons. Were you tempted to try again for a girl or do you think boys are best?
I think Hubby would have enjoyed a girl, but I would not wish a teenage daughter on anyone, so I am very happy with the 4 we have. Not to mention, my great-grandmother was the 17th child in her family, and the FIRST girl...so, you know, there was no guarantee I would have produced one, anyway.
2. You have a super bass playing husband. Would you be tempted to loan him out? (Across The Pond perhaps?) ;o)
For bass playing purposes? Oh, absolutely. He lays down some of the funkiest bass lines you'll ever hear in a crappy southern Maryland bar. He can also play drums, and some guitar. And he can open a beer with anything. So, you know, he is the life of any party. Of course, if he is going to cross the pond to play bass, he will need a roadie---I think I qualify.
3. If you could do any job at all, what would it be?
I would love to be able to write more, and do more creative stuff. Not art, exactly, but interesting and decorative things. All of which requires much more time. Because, dammit, those 4 sons of mine have a nasty habit of trashing the house and requiring transportation all over the known world. So, in a way, I am fortunate in that I can SEE my ideal job, and occasionally brush my hand against it. Makes me think that at some point I will be able to achieve it all.
4. What do you never leave home without?
My GPS. A small, digital camera. My cell phone (although today Son #2 took it to school, so I have been groping for it all afternoon). And a heaping helping of Catholic guilt.
5. What is your secret to a successful family life?
Forgiveness.
Here is the small print if you would like to play along. Bear in mind that if you do, I'll be the one asking the questions this time!
Link back to the original post - in my case that was this.
Put the rest of the rules in your post:
1. Leave me a comment saying, "Interview me." (Or email me cebasham at gmail dot com)
2. I will respond by emailing you five questions. I get to pick the questions.
3. You will update your blog with the answers to the questions.
4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.
So, to all and sundry, you really should ask me to interview you. I promise to be...aw, heck, I promise nothing, but it might be fun. Thanks, Penelope!
Son #1 Has Advice on Women, Too
The other day, I posted some advice on guys, from Son #1. Coincidentally, yesterday he offered some advice on us women, too. And although it pains me to say it, he is, again, correct.
Long story slightly less long: Son #1 has a friend--a friend who is on the edgy end of the spectrum, but who seems to have cut back on much of his wilder behavior, in recent years. This boy also has been polite to me and loves my cooking. So, you know, he's OK, even though I know his sordid past.
Unfortunately, Son #1 has started dating this guy's ex-girlfriend. The girlfriend, and her friends, have started some nasty rumors. The other day, Son #1's edgy friend believed all the rumors and assumed they were coming from Son #1, so he sent a group of kids to jump him in the school parking lot.
Son #1 has used a mixture of bravado ("Beat me up? You're half my size. You're not beating NOTHING. Stop sending your friends and fight me like a man.") and reason ("Dude! I don't know anything about these rumors. I don't want to fight you!") to smooth things over.
Last night, I think he settled it all, with one more phone call to Edgy Friend (who, all threats aside, skipped school yesterday). This is what I heard:
"Man, they are teenage girls. They are going to make drama. They are going to start rumors. They are going to blow things out of proportion. You can't let what they say change what you're doing. You can't make them stop spreading rumors and going crazy. You just have to let it go."
I'm proud of my son for his surprising store of wisdom, but just a tad embarrassed for my gender.
Long story slightly less long: Son #1 has a friend--a friend who is on the edgy end of the spectrum, but who seems to have cut back on much of his wilder behavior, in recent years. This boy also has been polite to me and loves my cooking. So, you know, he's OK, even though I know his sordid past.
Unfortunately, Son #1 has started dating this guy's ex-girlfriend. The girlfriend, and her friends, have started some nasty rumors. The other day, Son #1's edgy friend believed all the rumors and assumed they were coming from Son #1, so he sent a group of kids to jump him in the school parking lot.
Son #1 has used a mixture of bravado ("Beat me up? You're half my size. You're not beating NOTHING. Stop sending your friends and fight me like a man.") and reason ("Dude! I don't know anything about these rumors. I don't want to fight you!") to smooth things over.
Last night, I think he settled it all, with one more phone call to Edgy Friend (who, all threats aside, skipped school yesterday). This is what I heard:
"Man, they are teenage girls. They are going to make drama. They are going to start rumors. They are going to blow things out of proportion. You can't let what they say change what you're doing. You can't make them stop spreading rumors and going crazy. You just have to let it go."
I'm proud of my son for his surprising store of wisdom, but just a tad embarrassed for my gender.
Sunday, December 07, 2008
So what DOES she know?
Yesterday Hubby and I took 3 of the Sons out for some trashy-but-satisfying fast food and familial conversation, without the need for dish-washing.
Son #2 was talking about his history teacher, who has spent the past few weeks praising the merciful, useful Social Security system which only has minor problems and which protects us from ourselves, by saving our money for us and giving it back to us when we need it, because "Most Americans are too undisciplined to save for their own retirement":
"She had never heard of a Ponzi scheme, so I explained it to her. Whenever there's something like that, that she doesn't know, she calls me up to her desk and asks me to explain it to her quietly, so the other students don't hear it. Then she goes on with her lesson and doesn't mention it to the class."
Son #2 comes home from school most days with some basic piece of information that his teacher swears she's never heard before. Most of the time, according to Son #2, his teacher's main goal seems to be to ensure that the rest of her students never hear about that stuff, either. Is she embarrassed by her own ignorance? Is she using her classroom to promote a political agenda?
In the spirit of "You can learn something from anyone", and "Son #2 should find something to respect in his teacher, because she is his teacher," I asked him, "Well, what does she know?"
I figured he'd say, "Well, she really loved teaching about the War of 1812" or "She gave us so much information on the Whig party that I thought it was going to come out my eyeballs" or something.
No.
"Well, she knows Republicans are evil."
I would say she probably knows a lot about whales, too.
In The Know: Are Our Children Learning Enough About Whales?
Son #2 was talking about his history teacher, who has spent the past few weeks praising the merciful, useful Social Security system which only has minor problems and which protects us from ourselves, by saving our money for us and giving it back to us when we need it, because "Most Americans are too undisciplined to save for their own retirement":
"She had never heard of a Ponzi scheme, so I explained it to her. Whenever there's something like that, that she doesn't know, she calls me up to her desk and asks me to explain it to her quietly, so the other students don't hear it. Then she goes on with her lesson and doesn't mention it to the class."
Son #2 comes home from school most days with some basic piece of information that his teacher swears she's never heard before. Most of the time, according to Son #2, his teacher's main goal seems to be to ensure that the rest of her students never hear about that stuff, either. Is she embarrassed by her own ignorance? Is she using her classroom to promote a political agenda?
In the spirit of "You can learn something from anyone", and "Son #2 should find something to respect in his teacher, because she is his teacher," I asked him, "Well, what does she know?"
I figured he'd say, "Well, she really loved teaching about the War of 1812" or "She gave us so much information on the Whig party that I thought it was going to come out my eyeballs" or something.
No.
"Well, she knows Republicans are evil."
I would say she probably knows a lot about whales, too.
In The Know: Are Our Children Learning Enough About Whales?
Saturday, December 06, 2008
A Meme Stolen from Penelope
69 Questions Guaranteed You've Never Answered. (Not sure who guarantees it but that's what it said on the tin.)
1. Would you bang your neighbor? Dear lord, no.
2. What describes your relationship status? Married, but someone last night thought I was hubby's girlfriend, so I guess we're sufficiently affectionate.
3. Where are you? In the living room.
4. What's the last movie you've seen? I think it might have been iGo To Japan--a TV movie. Does that count?
5. The last person you held hands with? Hubby
6. Who Is Your Best Friend? I seem to have several in the running.
7. Who have you talked to most today? Hubby, so far.
8. Do you carve pumpkins every year? I did every year for about 17 years, but this year I didn't...and someone smashed my pumpkin.
9. Color of your underwear? Purple and black
10. Color of your shirt? Navy blue
11. I'm always... swamped
12. Who's on speed dial 2? 4? 6? I don't use it.
13. Honestly, how many people do you have feelings for? I have feelings about everyone I know, I think.
14. Whats your favorite season? Summer.
15. Good advice if you ever go camping? Don't invite me, as I hate camping!
16. Are you a bad influence? On occasion. But I'm not going to make you do something you wouldn't do.
17. Rather have your name or your siblings name? Mine.
18. Would you do anything for someone else? I'll do some things for some people but there aren't too many people I'd do ANYTHING for.
20. Have you ever been called a bitch? Just once, that I know about.
21. Have you ever been called a slut? Yes.
22. What is your ringtone? A horrible piece of non-music.
24. Are your grades good? Thank goodness I don't need to worry about that anymore!
25. Do you ever think people hate you for filling these out? Naaah.
26. Does your best friend(s) have a nexopia? I don't know what a nexopia is!
27. Whose page did you visit last? Penelope's blog--that's when I stole her meme.
28. Last time you went out to lunch? Son #4 and I stopped at Taco Bell on Wednesday.
30. Who is your favorite character from Friends? I take the 5th.
31. Do you have a tattoo? Nope.
32. Do you want one? Not really.
33. Do you have one or more Britney Spears CD? No.
34. What did you do last night? Danced to Hubby's band at the office Christmas party, helped the band load up their equipment. Hung out with Hubby, afterwards. Great fun.
35. Are you a LOST fanatic? No. I kind of hate TV, most of the time.
36. What's your name spelled backwards? Unpronounceable.
37. Do you have a song by Ozzy Osbourne in your library? We have some Ozzy.
38. iPod or Zune? Neither
39. Do you watch Family Guy regularly? I've only seen maybe 2 episodes.
40. King of the Hill? See the answer above.
41. Do you read trashy romance novels often? No.
42. What's the last thing you bought? I'm doing a lot of online Christmas shopping.
43. What's the last thing someone bought you? Hubby bought me a drink at a bar the other day.
44. Do you ever sing obnoxiously in the shower? Not too obnoxiously, I don't think.
45. What's in your CD player right now? Amy's mix CD.
46. What's your favorite movie? Maybe The Manchurian Candidate.
47. Another favorite movie? The Shawshank Redemption.
48. Do you believe everyone has a soul mate? Not really.
49. Can you sing? Not well enough for other people, but I have fun in the car.
50. Do you play any instruments? No.
53. Are you ever a freak about cleanliness or organization? No, unfortunately.
54. Have you ever been to South America or Africa? No.
55. Do you know how to knit? A little.
56. Do you have a job? I work, but I don't have a job.
57. Have you ever written love song lyrics yourself and put them on nexopia? No.
58. What are you doing right now besides this survey? Talking to a friend and wishing I had some tea.
59. Last place you went for vacation? New York
60. Favorite number? I don't have one.
61. Physics or chemistry? I took chemistry.
62. Facebook or Myspace? Neither
64. R-rated or G-rated movies? Can both be good, and both can stink.
66. Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, or Star Wars? Star Wars.
67. Fly or road trip? Either.
68. Batman, Spiderman, or Superman, or the Hulk, or SilverSurfer? Spider-Man.
69. What's your favorite Disney movie? Snow White, maybe?
1. Would you bang your neighbor? Dear lord, no.
2. What describes your relationship status? Married, but someone last night thought I was hubby's girlfriend, so I guess we're sufficiently affectionate.
3. Where are you? In the living room.
4. What's the last movie you've seen? I think it might have been iGo To Japan--a TV movie. Does that count?
5. The last person you held hands with? Hubby
6. Who Is Your Best Friend? I seem to have several in the running.
7. Who have you talked to most today? Hubby, so far.
8. Do you carve pumpkins every year? I did every year for about 17 years, but this year I didn't...and someone smashed my pumpkin.
9. Color of your underwear? Purple and black
10. Color of your shirt? Navy blue
11. I'm always... swamped
12. Who's on speed dial 2? 4? 6? I don't use it.
13. Honestly, how many people do you have feelings for? I have feelings about everyone I know, I think.
14. Whats your favorite season? Summer.
15. Good advice if you ever go camping? Don't invite me, as I hate camping!
16. Are you a bad influence? On occasion. But I'm not going to make you do something you wouldn't do.
17. Rather have your name or your siblings name? Mine.
18. Would you do anything for someone else? I'll do some things for some people but there aren't too many people I'd do ANYTHING for.
20. Have you ever been called a bitch? Just once, that I know about.
21. Have you ever been called a slut? Yes.
22. What is your ringtone? A horrible piece of non-music.
24. Are your grades good? Thank goodness I don't need to worry about that anymore!
25. Do you ever think people hate you for filling these out? Naaah.
26. Does your best friend(s) have a nexopia? I don't know what a nexopia is!
27. Whose page did you visit last? Penelope's blog--that's when I stole her meme.
28. Last time you went out to lunch? Son #4 and I stopped at Taco Bell on Wednesday.
30. Who is your favorite character from Friends? I take the 5th.
31. Do you have a tattoo? Nope.
32. Do you want one? Not really.
33. Do you have one or more Britney Spears CD? No.
34. What did you do last night? Danced to Hubby's band at the office Christmas party, helped the band load up their equipment. Hung out with Hubby, afterwards. Great fun.
35. Are you a LOST fanatic? No. I kind of hate TV, most of the time.
36. What's your name spelled backwards? Unpronounceable.
37. Do you have a song by Ozzy Osbourne in your library? We have some Ozzy.
38. iPod or Zune? Neither
39. Do you watch Family Guy regularly? I've only seen maybe 2 episodes.
40. King of the Hill? See the answer above.
41. Do you read trashy romance novels often? No.
42. What's the last thing you bought? I'm doing a lot of online Christmas shopping.
43. What's the last thing someone bought you? Hubby bought me a drink at a bar the other day.
44. Do you ever sing obnoxiously in the shower? Not too obnoxiously, I don't think.
45. What's in your CD player right now? Amy's mix CD.
46. What's your favorite movie? Maybe The Manchurian Candidate.
47. Another favorite movie? The Shawshank Redemption.
48. Do you believe everyone has a soul mate? Not really.
49. Can you sing? Not well enough for other people, but I have fun in the car.
50. Do you play any instruments? No.
53. Are you ever a freak about cleanliness or organization? No, unfortunately.
54. Have you ever been to South America or Africa? No.
55. Do you know how to knit? A little.
56. Do you have a job? I work, but I don't have a job.
57. Have you ever written love song lyrics yourself and put them on nexopia? No.
58. What are you doing right now besides this survey? Talking to a friend and wishing I had some tea.
59. Last place you went for vacation? New York
60. Favorite number? I don't have one.
61. Physics or chemistry? I took chemistry.
62. Facebook or Myspace? Neither
64. R-rated or G-rated movies? Can both be good, and both can stink.
66. Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, or Star Wars? Star Wars.
67. Fly or road trip? Either.
68. Batman, Spiderman, or Superman, or the Hulk, or SilverSurfer? Spider-Man.
69. What's your favorite Disney movie? Snow White, maybe?
Thursday, December 04, 2008
Advice on Guys, from a Guy
Son #1, who is 17:
"You know why I love talking to J--- on the phone? He calls, we make plans to do something, he hangs up. He doesn't ask me how my day went. Because unless you're a girl, and you're cute, guys don't want to talk to you on the phone for an hour."
"You know why I love talking to J--- on the phone? He calls, we make plans to do something, he hangs up. He doesn't ask me how my day went. Because unless you're a girl, and you're cute, guys don't want to talk to you on the phone for an hour."
Wednesday, December 03, 2008
He knows the words, but not the tune
I took Son #2 to the art supply store and a teenager was running the cash register. The woman behind me (grandmotherly type) approached the register and said sweet-faced teen smiled at her and said, "How's it hangin', ma'am?"
Monday, December 01, 2008
How to be a writer
...a writer cannot afford to give in to feelings of rage, disgust, or contempt. Did you answer someone in a temper? If so, you didn't hear him out and lost track of his system of opinions. You avoided someone out of disgust--and a completely unknown personality slipped out of your ken--precisely the type you would have needed some day. But, however tardily, I nonetheless caught myself and realized I had always devoted my time and attention to people who fascinated me and were pleasant, who engaged my sympathy, and that as a result I was seeing society like the Moon, always from one side.
Alexsandr I Solzenitzyn
The Gulag Archipelago Two
Alexsandr I Solzenitzyn
The Gulag Archipelago Two
Saturday, November 29, 2008
When a man loves a woman? Really, Percy?
Was just listening to "When A Man Loves A Woman" and it struck me: no way he is singing about the love a man has for a woman:
He'd give up all his comfort
Sleep out in the rain
If she says that's the way it ought to be
You just show me the woman who insists her man abandon a comfortable place to camp in inclement weather. No, if a man is sleeping out in the rain, I will lay you odds his wife is sitting in the car, bitching. Probably texting her friends, too, to document that her husband took her camping in a typhoon.
But, hey, I am forever grateful for the man who loves this woman to put up with my heaping helping of crap. Just, you know--he can rest assured I will not insist he sleep out in the rain. Ohhh, no.
He'd give up all his comfort
Sleep out in the rain
If she says that's the way it ought to be
You just show me the woman who insists her man abandon a comfortable place to camp in inclement weather. No, if a man is sleeping out in the rain, I will lay you odds his wife is sitting in the car, bitching. Probably texting her friends, too, to document that her husband took her camping in a typhoon.
But, hey, I am forever grateful for the man who loves this woman to put up with my heaping helping of crap. Just, you know--he can rest assured I will not insist he sleep out in the rain. Ohhh, no.
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
Christine's Product Round-Up
As in, you need this stuff:
Wal-Mart has these Fudge Marshmallow Cookies--they are basically the world's most nearly perfect PMS food, and I only discovered them yesterday. Get them. Great Value brand.
Green Logic ELIMINATOR--a friend sent me a bottle and that stuff is AMAZING. It is the only cleaning product I have ever used which makes things smell like--nothing. Not flowers-and-stink, not chemicals-and-stink, but rather like...clean air. It is terrific.
Wal-Mart has these Fudge Marshmallow Cookies--they are basically the world's most nearly perfect PMS food, and I only discovered them yesterday. Get them. Great Value brand.
Green Logic ELIMINATOR--a friend sent me a bottle and that stuff is AMAZING. It is the only cleaning product I have ever used which makes things smell like--nothing. Not flowers-and-stink, not chemicals-and-stink, but rather like...clean air. It is terrific.
Monday, November 24, 2008
Paperwork, and other joys
The dishes are done. The laundry is done. I have flushed all the dog poop I can find. Hubby's library books are neatly stacked, ready for return, next to the giant bag of recyclable paper trash which I will deposit after my trip to the gym. I've fought the insurance company (and won!)and have a small but manageable stack of paperwork to mess with and file, this morning, while nagging children to do their school work.
I love Monday mornings. I feel so competent.
I love Monday mornings. I feel so competent.
Thursday, November 20, 2008
Because I'm a genius, that's why
Son #1 flipped out a couple of weeks ago, because his uniform was not ready on the day he needed it. I could almost see his brain processing the thought: "Mom may not do all my laundry every day." The other day, he did a load of laundry on his own, because he needed a shirt. His room, while not clean, is slightly less terrifying. And he has cut back on his work hours, because he decided that his grades would come up if he did. Clearly, on some level, my "Hey, it's YOUR life, you've got to figure out how to make it work," speeches have sunk in.
Also this week, I had a massive craving for Russian Tea. You know, the stuff with the Tang in it. I found a recipe online. It is full of sugar. I don't want a lot of sugar, and tend to find most things too sweet, anyway, but if you don't put the sugar in the proportions are all wrong. But we have that powdered flavorless fiber stuff...which I am now going to use in place of the sugar in the recipe, so that it measures like it should, but is now not a Secret Evil Treat, but instead a Healthy Nutritional Supplement.
I have been going through the house looking for stuff to eBay (in addition to the stuff I'm eBaying for a friend, on commission), leading to a small infusion of cash each week. Feel pretty good about that.
My spin instructor says my form is perfect. I would rather have a perfect BODY and crappy form, but I will take what I can get.
The family Christmas cards have arrived, and I got Christmas stamps at the post office, and I have put them aside to work on at my friend's annual Christmas Prep Party. I also have found some very cool Christmas gifts. Not anywhere near enough, but I have a handle on the holiday, and it's not even Thanksgiving yet.
For some reason, Hubby's Cat has decided to spend some time with me, on occasion. I have no idea why. Or maybe I do. Maybe she has just noticed my recent small victories, and wants me to know I finally do not suck.
Also this week, I had a massive craving for Russian Tea. You know, the stuff with the Tang in it. I found a recipe online. It is full of sugar. I don't want a lot of sugar, and tend to find most things too sweet, anyway, but if you don't put the sugar in the proportions are all wrong. But we have that powdered flavorless fiber stuff...which I am now going to use in place of the sugar in the recipe, so that it measures like it should, but is now not a Secret Evil Treat, but instead a Healthy Nutritional Supplement.
I have been going through the house looking for stuff to eBay (in addition to the stuff I'm eBaying for a friend, on commission), leading to a small infusion of cash each week. Feel pretty good about that.
My spin instructor says my form is perfect. I would rather have a perfect BODY and crappy form, but I will take what I can get.
The family Christmas cards have arrived, and I got Christmas stamps at the post office, and I have put them aside to work on at my friend's annual Christmas Prep Party. I also have found some very cool Christmas gifts. Not anywhere near enough, but I have a handle on the holiday, and it's not even Thanksgiving yet.
For some reason, Hubby's Cat has decided to spend some time with me, on occasion. I have no idea why. Or maybe I do. Maybe she has just noticed my recent small victories, and wants me to know I finally do not suck.
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
For the Foghat Fan
EVERYBODY needs a ladies' size Medium tank top, signed by the members of Foghat. Am I right?
That's the way, uh-huh, uh-huh, I like it, uh-huh
I have been pissing and moaning about the cold, rainy weather and short days to just about everyone. Endless summer, where did you go? Today, lemme make up for that a bit with Things I Like:
Leaf stains: you know, when leaves fall on the sidewalk and it's rainy and they get plastered there and then a couple of days later they get swept OFF the sidewalk and the tannins (or whatever) have made stains on the sidewalk in the shapes of the leaves? I think that is beautiful. I think we need more sidewalks, not just for safe walking and general orderliness, but also for the fall leaf art.
Claritin: because November is when my allergies kick in. Claritin D, you are especially awesome.
Long drives: and tomorrow, I get to take one, as I'll be covering a meeting a couple of hours from the Happy Boondocks.
Teenagers: Especially boys. And it's a good thing, too, because my house is full of them, much of the time.
My laptop: No, I LOVE my laptop. Nothing makes solitary housework go faster than being able to drag the laptop around and IM people. Even if all we're IMing about is the general boring nature of the day. Cherry Blossom, I'm talking to YOU!
Scented Candles: BJs sells a line made by the Yankee Candle people--so, you know, smells like the real thing at 1/4 the price. Yesterday I got a new candle. Smells like punch-under-the-Christmas-tree. And covers up the scent of Dog Ownership.
My Spot: When Hubby is watching TV in bed, one of our cats generally parks herself in his right armpit. That Damn Dog takes a knee. The other cat may take up a guard position at the corner of the bed. That leaves me left-side-of-Hubby. It is the snuggliest spot anywhere, and I love it.
And, this morning, as is the case most days, I love me some unsweetened, iced black tea.
Leaf stains: you know, when leaves fall on the sidewalk and it's rainy and they get plastered there and then a couple of days later they get swept OFF the sidewalk and the tannins (or whatever) have made stains on the sidewalk in the shapes of the leaves? I think that is beautiful. I think we need more sidewalks, not just for safe walking and general orderliness, but also for the fall leaf art.
Claritin: because November is when my allergies kick in. Claritin D, you are especially awesome.
Long drives: and tomorrow, I get to take one, as I'll be covering a meeting a couple of hours from the Happy Boondocks.
Teenagers: Especially boys. And it's a good thing, too, because my house is full of them, much of the time.
My laptop: No, I LOVE my laptop. Nothing makes solitary housework go faster than being able to drag the laptop around and IM people. Even if all we're IMing about is the general boring nature of the day. Cherry Blossom, I'm talking to YOU!
Scented Candles: BJs sells a line made by the Yankee Candle people--so, you know, smells like the real thing at 1/4 the price. Yesterday I got a new candle. Smells like punch-under-the-Christmas-tree. And covers up the scent of Dog Ownership.
My Spot: When Hubby is watching TV in bed, one of our cats generally parks herself in his right armpit. That Damn Dog takes a knee. The other cat may take up a guard position at the corner of the bed. That leaves me left-side-of-Hubby. It is the snuggliest spot anywhere, and I love it.
And, this morning, as is the case most days, I love me some unsweetened, iced black tea.
Sunday, November 09, 2008
Advice for the President-Elect
Sure, I have my opinions on what President Obama should do, once he's in office. Somehow I doubt he'd be interested in my ideas on missile defense in Poland. I'm no expert in international relations.
As a mom, though, let me set the man straight.
In a couple of months, President Obama is going to move his family across the country. He will have a new job, arguably one of the most important jobs in the nation. His wife will have a new job, too. They'll have a new house which they pretty much have to redecorate. Their daughters will be in new schools. The entire family is going to be exhausted, and stressed, and disoriented. They'll be lucky to spend time together, just the four of them.
Honey, now is not the time to get a new puppy.
As a mom, though, let me set the man straight.
In a couple of months, President Obama is going to move his family across the country. He will have a new job, arguably one of the most important jobs in the nation. His wife will have a new job, too. They'll have a new house which they pretty much have to redecorate. Their daughters will be in new schools. The entire family is going to be exhausted, and stressed, and disoriented. They'll be lucky to spend time together, just the four of them.
Honey, now is not the time to get a new puppy.
Saturday, November 08, 2008
Tuesday, November 04, 2008
It's not an "extra", it's a "necessity"
10:00 Spilled OJ on the seat of my car. Cleaned it up. Went inside. Washed my hands.
10:05 loaded the dishwasher. Washed my hands.
10:07 loaded the washing machine. Washed my hands.
10:20 found dog poop on the bedroom rug. Washed my hands.
10:25 went to the bathroom. Washed my hands.
10:30 found dog poop on the living room rug. Washed my hands.
Yeah, right about now if I don't use some hand lotion my arms are going to fray.
10:05 loaded the dishwasher. Washed my hands.
10:07 loaded the washing machine. Washed my hands.
10:20 found dog poop on the bedroom rug. Washed my hands.
10:25 went to the bathroom. Washed my hands.
10:30 found dog poop on the living room rug. Washed my hands.
Yeah, right about now if I don't use some hand lotion my arms are going to fray.
Saturday, November 01, 2008
The thing about guys who wear shirts like this
We have several pictures of this guy, with members of the band. But the thing I always think is, "The dude with the shirt on put it on so he could spend the evening wrapping his arm around guys."
I think we know who REALLY loves the cock, don't we?
You know what I blame this on the breakdown of?
Last night we had one trick-or-treater. One.
We also had someone come by to steal our pumpkin.
Yeah, the pumpkin that I did not have to carve, this year, so I was going to cook it. So I was going to get a holiday decoration AND food out of it. It is probably smashed on the highway right now.
You know what I blame this on the breakdown of?
Society.
We also had someone come by to steal our pumpkin.
Yeah, the pumpkin that I did not have to carve, this year, so I was going to cook it. So I was going to get a holiday decoration AND food out of it. It is probably smashed on the highway right now.
You know what I blame this on the breakdown of?
Society.
Pounding Sand at Cadillac Jack's
Hubby's latest band, Pounding Sand, played their first paying gig tonight.
The drummer's wife was there, and a few friends of the band, and a few other people, but basically it was a quiet night.
Except.
The singer's girlfriend's sister got beat up in the parking lot. Six police cars responded to the scene.
I got there after 5 of the cruisers had left, and realized that I have a plan in place for these situations: If you arrive at a bar with a cop car in the parking lot, park next to the cop car.
See? I am bolder than those people who might see a cop car and keep driving.
A guy we know arrived rather lit. He continued drinking. He danced with the singer's girlfriend, drank the drummer's wife's White Russian, told us all he wanted to get married but "didn't know how to make it happen", and then stumbled into someone carrying a tray full of drinks, so that the straw wedged itself behind his eyeglasses.
He left after that.
The group of us who came to see the band sat together while the band packed up and critiqued the evening. That's not something I usually do with anyone other than Hubby, but it was interesting none the less. It's good to hear other people's perspectives. For the most part, they agreed with me on what went well, and what went badly.
Now, Hubby is home, going over the tapes, and I am looking over the leftover Halloween candy. The bowl is suffering from continued overcrowding. I'll have to do something about that.
On a semi-related note, at one point the guitarist, embarrassed by a mistake he made, said, "I'm not getting laid, tonight!" and Hubby leaned into his microphone and said, "But I will."
I think I have become altogether too predictable. Not that I'm going to change on that score!
The drummer's wife was there, and a few friends of the band, and a few other people, but basically it was a quiet night.
Except.
The singer's girlfriend's sister got beat up in the parking lot. Six police cars responded to the scene.
I got there after 5 of the cruisers had left, and realized that I have a plan in place for these situations: If you arrive at a bar with a cop car in the parking lot, park next to the cop car.
See? I am bolder than those people who might see a cop car and keep driving.
A guy we know arrived rather lit. He continued drinking. He danced with the singer's girlfriend, drank the drummer's wife's White Russian, told us all he wanted to get married but "didn't know how to make it happen", and then stumbled into someone carrying a tray full of drinks, so that the straw wedged itself behind his eyeglasses.
He left after that.
The group of us who came to see the band sat together while the band packed up and critiqued the evening. That's not something I usually do with anyone other than Hubby, but it was interesting none the less. It's good to hear other people's perspectives. For the most part, they agreed with me on what went well, and what went badly.
Now, Hubby is home, going over the tapes, and I am looking over the leftover Halloween candy. The bowl is suffering from continued overcrowding. I'll have to do something about that.
On a semi-related note, at one point the guitarist, embarrassed by a mistake he made, said, "I'm not getting laid, tonight!" and Hubby leaned into his microphone and said, "But I will."
I think I have become altogether too predictable. Not that I'm going to change on that score!
Friday, October 31, 2008
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
I Gave My Sole to the VA GOP
Brick, Veggie Blonde, Sons #3 and 4 and I had a great time in the rain at the Palin rally in Fredericksburg yesterday.
Lots of people wore red.
This woman in particular made my day: She caught me hopping a fence OUT of the press area (I did not realize I was IN the press area) and yanked my sleeve. When I nearly toppled onto her, and told her not to touch me, she freaked out...and apparently talked about me for the next 20 minutes. Later, I decided that fighting her, and getting arrested, would have been very cool. But Whaddya want? At least I can be snarky on my blog.
And no, I haven't lost my ability to spell. The sole of my shoe fell off on the hike back to the parking garage. Stylish, perhaps, but definitely not the choice for a rainy day.
Lots of people wore red.
This woman in particular made my day: She caught me hopping a fence OUT of the press area (I did not realize I was IN the press area) and yanked my sleeve. When I nearly toppled onto her, and told her not to touch me, she freaked out...and apparently talked about me for the next 20 minutes. Later, I decided that fighting her, and getting arrested, would have been very cool. But Whaddya want? At least I can be snarky on my blog.
And no, I haven't lost my ability to spell. The sole of my shoe fell off on the hike back to the parking garage. Stylish, perhaps, but definitely not the choice for a rainy day.
Monday, October 27, 2008
Field Trip
Today Sons #3 and 4 and I are picking up Veggie Blonde and Brick (and Son of Brick) to drive to Fredericksburg, VA to see Sarah Palin speak.
Yeah, I know. If you hate her, just humor me for the day.
Also planned--a trip to what is supposed to be the best Goodwill store, ever.
If I get any good pictures, I'll post them tomorrow.
Yeah, I know. If you hate her, just humor me for the day.
Also planned--a trip to what is supposed to be the best Goodwill store, ever.
If I get any good pictures, I'll post them tomorrow.
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
Snacks, but no crackers.
Today Hubby asked me to drive to Wheaton with his amplifier. I could tell he felt bad, sending me on a long drive, but...honestly I love to drive, and I love being in the DC 'burbs.
The repair place thought, briefly, that they'd be able to fix his amp while I waited, so I hit four (count 'em! four!) ethnic markets before finding out that no, the amp is going to require a lot more help and parts from distant lands.
I now have rose water and orange blossom water on my desk, and my wrists reek of orange blossoms.
I have halva, which is delicious, and 2 of the sons agree with me that it tastes just like insides of a Butterfinger bar. I am guessing that is where the Butterfinger people got the idea.
The freezer has all manner of frozen Asian meaty things, which I can just pop in the toaster oven. and I have Indian curry awaiting the microwave.
I have a bag full of a vegetable I buy in large part because the name sounds, to English-speakers, obscene. But, yeah, they are delicious, too. Points to anyone who can guess what they are.
I have cheese and meat from the Italian deli where my grandmother used to buy her refrigerated pizza dough. They still sell the dough. And I just discovered today that Hubby used to go there for lunch, in high school. Small world, man. I wonder if I ever saw him in there.
Unlike the Happy Boondocks, where I almost seem ethnic myself, in Wheaton I was clearly a member of the Boring White Minority. Which was interesting.
I am home, stuffed, beat, but satisfied. And already planning my next trip to The Big City...
The repair place thought, briefly, that they'd be able to fix his amp while I waited, so I hit four (count 'em! four!) ethnic markets before finding out that no, the amp is going to require a lot more help and parts from distant lands.
I now have rose water and orange blossom water on my desk, and my wrists reek of orange blossoms.
I have halva, which is delicious, and 2 of the sons agree with me that it tastes just like insides of a Butterfinger bar. I am guessing that is where the Butterfinger people got the idea.
The freezer has all manner of frozen Asian meaty things, which I can just pop in the toaster oven. and I have Indian curry awaiting the microwave.
I have a bag full of a vegetable I buy in large part because the name sounds, to English-speakers, obscene. But, yeah, they are delicious, too. Points to anyone who can guess what they are.
I have cheese and meat from the Italian deli where my grandmother used to buy her refrigerated pizza dough. They still sell the dough. And I just discovered today that Hubby used to go there for lunch, in high school. Small world, man. I wonder if I ever saw him in there.
Unlike the Happy Boondocks, where I almost seem ethnic myself, in Wheaton I was clearly a member of the Boring White Minority. Which was interesting.
I am home, stuffed, beat, but satisfied. And already planning my next trip to The Big City...
Saturday, October 18, 2008
Total Waste of Time FAQs
Before you contact us, please browse through the following FAQs; we may have already answered your question!
Where are the socks?
I think they are in Son #3 or Son #4's rooms. They don't wear socks all that much, so they tend to collect there.
Have you fed/walked the dog?
Yes. Don't listen to him, he lies.
Is Son #1 there?
No. If he were here, he would have answered the phone before I had a chance. He is at work.
How can you tell your cats apart?
Jake is bigger. He is rougher looking. He has a pointy face and a white spot on his hind foot. Ellie is soft, delicate, and feminine.
Were you trying for a girl?
No.
Who are you here with?
The bass player. Or, alternatively, the drummer. Because Hubby can do both.
Where did you get those shoes?
The thrift store. Almost always. Some chick with fantastic taste in shoes keeps dumping them and I LOVE HER.
When are you going to get a full-time job?
When I am no longer in charge of all these sons, I think.
Can I have some tea?
Can we go to Blockbuster today?
Can we get pizza/Chinese food/5 Guys Burgers & Fries for dinner?
What gas goes in the lawn mower?
When is the internet going to be back?
Go ask your father.
What kind of stuff do you write?
I used to do a lot of advertorial stuff. I write features for commercial and trade magazines, and I have written some creative nonfiction for anthologies, and a few short fiction pieces. I have also done some writing for corporate web sites. I will write pretty much anything, if you pay me. That's why Hubby calls me "Presstitute".
If this does not answer your question, feel free to contact us at Total Waste of Time. Your time is very important to us! Have a great day.
Where are the socks?
I think they are in Son #3 or Son #4's rooms. They don't wear socks all that much, so they tend to collect there.
Have you fed/walked the dog?
Yes. Don't listen to him, he lies.
Is Son #1 there?
No. If he were here, he would have answered the phone before I had a chance. He is at work.
How can you tell your cats apart?
Jake is bigger. He is rougher looking. He has a pointy face and a white spot on his hind foot. Ellie is soft, delicate, and feminine.
Were you trying for a girl?
No.
Who are you here with?
The bass player. Or, alternatively, the drummer. Because Hubby can do both.
Where did you get those shoes?
The thrift store. Almost always. Some chick with fantastic taste in shoes keeps dumping them and I LOVE HER.
When are you going to get a full-time job?
When I am no longer in charge of all these sons, I think.
Can I have some tea?
Can we go to Blockbuster today?
Can we get pizza/Chinese food/5 Guys Burgers & Fries for dinner?
What gas goes in the lawn mower?
When is the internet going to be back?
Go ask your father.
What kind of stuff do you write?
I used to do a lot of advertorial stuff. I write features for commercial and trade magazines, and I have written some creative nonfiction for anthologies, and a few short fiction pieces. I have also done some writing for corporate web sites. I will write pretty much anything, if you pay me. That's why Hubby calls me "Presstitute".
If this does not answer your question, feel free to contact us at Total Waste of Time. Your time is very important to us! Have a great day.
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
I want a bucket of carp
Hubby saw something on Mythbusters about sticking your feet in a bucket of fish, to let the fish eat the dead skin off of your feet. Amazingly, that was not the "myth" part.
Why am I hearing about this after it's been declared unsanitary? Dammit, I want to keep a bucket of tiny carp under my desk, so I can have continuous pedicure action while I'm working and futzing online.
Hubby suggested that my feet would not have enough dead skin to sustain a bucket full of fish. I offered to let him use my bucket, too, but he refused. Man has no idea what he's missing.
I do appreciate that he noticed that my feet are sufficiently soft and cute to not require the fishbucket.
Why am I hearing about this after it's been declared unsanitary? Dammit, I want to keep a bucket of tiny carp under my desk, so I can have continuous pedicure action while I'm working and futzing online.
Hubby suggested that my feet would not have enough dead skin to sustain a bucket full of fish. I offered to let him use my bucket, too, but he refused. Man has no idea what he's missing.
I do appreciate that he noticed that my feet are sufficiently soft and cute to not require the fishbucket.
Friday, October 10, 2008
Request for Submissions: Girlhood Stories
My buddy Amy is working on some sort of book projecty-thing--it may end up a book, or maybe a web site, or maybe some whole new thing. No clue, at this point. What I do know is, she's soliciting submissions from girls and women.
Amy wants to look back at our girlhood and see what we were, before we became women. The sweetness of it, if there was any, but really any other things that we remember about that time in our lives.
If you are a woman (Sorry, guys, Amy is not particularly interested in your input on this one!) with something to say, send it to Amy, ok? Essays, poetry, anything you think might communicate what you have to say about your girlhood, or girlhood in general. Let 'er rip, so to speak. And when "it" becomes whatever "it" is going to be, I'll tell everyone about it, here.
At this point, Amy is not at all sure where things are going, and so she also does not know if this is something that at some point might become a "paying market". So, I would say, do it if you want to, and enjoy it for what it is.
Want contact info? Comment here, or email me, and I'll send it on.
Thanks!
Amy wants to look back at our girlhood and see what we were, before we became women. The sweetness of it, if there was any, but really any other things that we remember about that time in our lives.
If you are a woman (Sorry, guys, Amy is not particularly interested in your input on this one!) with something to say, send it to Amy, ok? Essays, poetry, anything you think might communicate what you have to say about your girlhood, or girlhood in general. Let 'er rip, so to speak. And when "it" becomes whatever "it" is going to be, I'll tell everyone about it, here.
At this point, Amy is not at all sure where things are going, and so she also does not know if this is something that at some point might become a "paying market". So, I would say, do it if you want to, and enjoy it for what it is.
Want contact info? Comment here, or email me, and I'll send it on.
Thanks!
Tuesday, October 07, 2008
Hubby's Favorite Meatloaf
Hubby grew up in a restaurant family: not just a family that ate out a lot, but a family with a lot of restaurant owners in it.
I grew up in a house where, well, if it was Friday we were eating tuna patties and it didn't matter if they were horrible it was Friday and Mom had made them and there were children starving in Asia and finish your peas.
This sometimes means that I have a hard time cooking for him. It's a cultural difference.
And then there are times when, well, the fact that he is a guy completely overrules all of that, and he eats stuff I cannot imagine ever putting in my mouth.
Like the time he fished a week-old pork chop out of the dog's dish. Yeah. He did that.
The other night, I was going to make meatloaf. For reasons which will become abundantly clear, it turned into one of those items I would never, ever eat. But Hubby was thrilled. So, here's
Hubby's Favorite Meatloaf
*Defrost a bag of frozen ground beef.
*Take off your mother's ring, and slide it onto the finger with your wedding ring on it, because that ring does. not. come. off. (it could, it just isn't gonna)
*Dump the defrosted meat in a bowl. Add 2 eggs. Add the last of Emeril's BAM IT! Salad Seasoning because lately everything you put that stuff on turns to familial culinary gold.
*Contemplate adding some oats, or quinoa, or cracker crumbs, because you usually do, but...Hubby is on a low-carb diet, so decide to skip that.
*Smoosh everything together with your one bare hand. It's clean, because you are a mom so you wash your hands all day.
*Dump it into a loaf pan, and smoosh it up against one end so there is a slice of loaf-less pan in which the fat can collect.
*Cover it in KC Masterpiece barbeque sauce.
*Bake it at 450 for an hour.
*Leave the house, and remember that the meatloaf is nearly done.
*Call home, and tell whoever answers the phone to turn off the oven, because you're going to be driving all over town.
*Get home an hour later, and discover that the meatloaf is still baking. Turn off the oven.
*Declare the meatloaf completely inedible, because it resembles the world's largest Kingsford briquette. Make grilled cheese for the Sons. Go to bed.
*Wake up the next morning and discover the briquette is STILL in the oven. It is black and hard and cold. Mention you are going to throw it away.
*When you see Hubby's distraught face, shove the charred thing in a tupperware container and put it in the fridge. Wait 10 hours.
*Microwave the lump.
For some reason, burned, abandoned food really appeals to my husband. I think the only thing I could have done to improve it would have been if I had let the dog lick it, first.
I grew up in a house where, well, if it was Friday we were eating tuna patties and it didn't matter if they were horrible it was Friday and Mom had made them and there were children starving in Asia and finish your peas.
This sometimes means that I have a hard time cooking for him. It's a cultural difference.
And then there are times when, well, the fact that he is a guy completely overrules all of that, and he eats stuff I cannot imagine ever putting in my mouth.
Like the time he fished a week-old pork chop out of the dog's dish. Yeah. He did that.
The other night, I was going to make meatloaf. For reasons which will become abundantly clear, it turned into one of those items I would never, ever eat. But Hubby was thrilled. So, here's
Hubby's Favorite Meatloaf
*Defrost a bag of frozen ground beef.
*Take off your mother's ring, and slide it onto the finger with your wedding ring on it, because that ring does. not. come. off. (it could, it just isn't gonna)
*Dump the defrosted meat in a bowl. Add 2 eggs. Add the last of Emeril's BAM IT! Salad Seasoning because lately everything you put that stuff on turns to familial culinary gold.
*Contemplate adding some oats, or quinoa, or cracker crumbs, because you usually do, but...Hubby is on a low-carb diet, so decide to skip that.
*Smoosh everything together with your one bare hand. It's clean, because you are a mom so you wash your hands all day.
*Dump it into a loaf pan, and smoosh it up against one end so there is a slice of loaf-less pan in which the fat can collect.
*Cover it in KC Masterpiece barbeque sauce.
*Bake it at 450 for an hour.
*Leave the house, and remember that the meatloaf is nearly done.
*Call home, and tell whoever answers the phone to turn off the oven, because you're going to be driving all over town.
*Get home an hour later, and discover that the meatloaf is still baking. Turn off the oven.
*Declare the meatloaf completely inedible, because it resembles the world's largest Kingsford briquette. Make grilled cheese for the Sons. Go to bed.
*Wake up the next morning and discover the briquette is STILL in the oven. It is black and hard and cold. Mention you are going to throw it away.
*When you see Hubby's distraught face, shove the charred thing in a tupperware container and put it in the fridge. Wait 10 hours.
*Microwave the lump.
For some reason, burned, abandoned food really appeals to my husband. I think the only thing I could have done to improve it would have been if I had let the dog lick it, first.
And it's a banner day, at Chez Christine
Today, Son #2 got his braces off. He is thrilled, naturally. And I was going to mention that to all my bloggy people, definitely. Especially since the orthodontist sent him back to school with a giant bag of chewy, sticky, hard, sugary stuff he was not supposed to go NEAR for the past few years. Understanding goes a long way.
But holy beans, you know what ELSE just happened?
Son #3 just bagged the trash and took it out. I noticed, and thanked him for seeing something that needed to be done, and doing it, unasked. His response?
"Yeah, well...it's my house, too."
Not ALL of my kids have figured that one out. But it is wonderful when one of them makes it clear that he understands that he is part of a community.
But holy beans, you know what ELSE just happened?
Son #3 just bagged the trash and took it out. I noticed, and thanked him for seeing something that needed to be done, and doing it, unasked. His response?
"Yeah, well...it's my house, too."
Not ALL of my kids have figured that one out. But it is wonderful when one of them makes it clear that he understands that he is part of a community.
Monday, October 06, 2008
These fashion people...what a sense of humor
Here is a design by Pierre Cardin.
And here is La Pierre Himself.
Clearly, he is laughing his ass off, as he cashes those checks from le chic. I just gotta hand it to the man.
Sunday, October 05, 2008
Wisdom of the Day
"Soooo, are you ever going to blog again?" she asked. Yeah, I know, I suck cheese.
Instead of blogging, the past few days I have been organizing the house. It is dreadfully dull and does not provide much in the way of blog fodder. I got nothin', ok? Be grateful I am not telling you about the mildew in the hall bathroom or the dust next to the washer.
But in my heaps of paper (I am working on my desk, today) I found the following:
"This is the work of those who are skilled and peaceful, who seek the good: May they be able and upright, straightforward, of gentle speech and not proud. May they be content and easily supported, unburdened, with their senses calmed. May they be wise, not arrogant and without desire for the possessions of others. May they do nothing mean or that the wise would reprove. May all things be happy. May they live in safety and joy.
--Metta Suta
Something to think about, as I clean, I guess.
Instead of blogging, the past few days I have been organizing the house. It is dreadfully dull and does not provide much in the way of blog fodder. I got nothin', ok? Be grateful I am not telling you about the mildew in the hall bathroom or the dust next to the washer.
But in my heaps of paper (I am working on my desk, today) I found the following:
"This is the work of those who are skilled and peaceful, who seek the good: May they be able and upright, straightforward, of gentle speech and not proud. May they be content and easily supported, unburdened, with their senses calmed. May they be wise, not arrogant and without desire for the possessions of others. May they do nothing mean or that the wise would reprove. May all things be happy. May they live in safety and joy.
--Metta Suta
Something to think about, as I clean, I guess.
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
Miracle Snack of the Day: Lemon Popcorn
Get ready to thank me.
Pop a big pot of corn on the stove. Do not salt it. Instead, sprinkle on one of those tubes of lemon flavored splenda stuff you're supposed to use to flavor a bottle of water. Live a little: use 2 tubes.
Toss the corn around.
Eat it.
You're welcome.
Pop a big pot of corn on the stove. Do not salt it. Instead, sprinkle on one of those tubes of lemon flavored splenda stuff you're supposed to use to flavor a bottle of water. Live a little: use 2 tubes.
Toss the corn around.
Eat it.
You're welcome.
Sunday, September 21, 2008
Walmart-in
Hubby wanted to go to Wal-Mart.
He considered changing out of his holey t-shirt, but, well, we were only going to Wal-Mart.
I went, too. In the hotpants I was wearing while my jeans were in the wash.
Son #3 came with us, sporting 2 kinds of plaid.
And Son #4 was, naturally, a shaggy 12 year old in a band t-shirt.
We have completely adapted to the boondocks lifestyle.
He considered changing out of his holey t-shirt, but, well, we were only going to Wal-Mart.
I went, too. In the hotpants I was wearing while my jeans were in the wash.
Son #3 came with us, sporting 2 kinds of plaid.
And Son #4 was, naturally, a shaggy 12 year old in a band t-shirt.
We have completely adapted to the boondocks lifestyle.
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
In Honor of Our Friends in Houston
Hubby keeps saying that it's just a matter of time before we end up in Houston. Not entirely sure why that is (although a big, hot, Southern city sounds just right to me) but I am glad we're not there just now.
In honor of our friends in Houston, Hubby and I had a little bit of our own Hurricane Ike experience, last night and this morning:
We cleaned up standing water (because someone knocked the refrigerator plug out of the socket and everything melted on the kitchen floor).
We discarded defrosted food (don't worry, it was just yesterday's pitcher of frozen mochas. I can make more.)
Hubby spent some time in the dark, cursing (because he banged his foot on a broken rocking chair that was sitting in the kitchen.)
We got hot & sweaty (oooh, baby, and on a Tuesday night, too!)
We found a roofing shingle on our deck (Hmmm...that's what you get for buying your house from the widow of a Stand Up Guy.)
I burned myself, lighting a candle.
I resigned myself to waiting for repairmen (the fridge and the lawn tractor, this time.)
So, to Jill, Casey, and all the rest, just know that Hubby and I are totally in solidarity with you.
In honor of our friends in Houston, Hubby and I had a little bit of our own Hurricane Ike experience, last night and this morning:
We cleaned up standing water (because someone knocked the refrigerator plug out of the socket and everything melted on the kitchen floor).
We discarded defrosted food (don't worry, it was just yesterday's pitcher of frozen mochas. I can make more.)
Hubby spent some time in the dark, cursing (because he banged his foot on a broken rocking chair that was sitting in the kitchen.)
We got hot & sweaty (oooh, baby, and on a Tuesday night, too!)
We found a roofing shingle on our deck (Hmmm...that's what you get for buying your house from the widow of a Stand Up Guy.)
I burned myself, lighting a candle.
I resigned myself to waiting for repairmen (the fridge and the lawn tractor, this time.)
So, to Jill, Casey, and all the rest, just know that Hubby and I are totally in solidarity with you.
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
Not feelin' the love
I keep sending out queries, and hearing nothing back. My editor's inbox is so full, she can't open the photos I sent to go with my latest travel piece. "Wait a few days, until I can clear it out," she says. My own inbox is crammed with spam, and little else. About the only creative writing I do is to describe my latest offerings on eBay.
I am just not feelin' the internet love, these days. I think I'll have some cookie dough.
I am just not feelin' the internet love, these days. I think I'll have some cookie dough.
Monday, September 08, 2008
Proof I Married a Man
Last week, three county schools (including the one Son#1 attends part-time) were on lockdown because someone called in a bogus suicide threat. Son #1 just told me that he found out who it was who called in the threat, and that the kid is in custody being charged as an adult, and his parents owe the county $10,000 for the hassle.
And we know the kid.
This is a kid I used to babysit, years ago, in exchange for haircuts from his mother, the extremely talented and expensive hairdresser. Sweet kid (or so I thought) and growing up to be a handsome young man.
Son #1 always said this boy was bad news, but I didn't really believe it until the boy started breaking skateboards over Son #1's head, selling drugs, and such. I've blogged about him before. That kid.
Son #1 tells me this juicy piece of gossip and of course my first instinct, even as he is spooling out the details, is to flip open my cell phone and call Hubby.
"Oh, yeah, he mentioned that a couple days ago," he said. "I forgot."
Yup. Proof positive. Hubby is definitely not a woman.
And we know the kid.
This is a kid I used to babysit, years ago, in exchange for haircuts from his mother, the extremely talented and expensive hairdresser. Sweet kid (or so I thought) and growing up to be a handsome young man.
Son #1 always said this boy was bad news, but I didn't really believe it until the boy started breaking skateboards over Son #1's head, selling drugs, and such. I've blogged about him before. That kid.
Son #1 tells me this juicy piece of gossip and of course my first instinct, even as he is spooling out the details, is to flip open my cell phone and call Hubby.
"Oh, yeah, he mentioned that a couple days ago," he said. "I forgot."
Yup. Proof positive. Hubby is definitely not a woman.
Thursday, September 04, 2008
saRAH! saRAH! saRAH!
I have been moaning about the Presidential candidates for ages. Well, actually, I had STOPPED moaning. I had pretty much resigned myself to holding my nose and voting, when the time came.
Until.
Sweet Jesus, I have a girl-crush on Sarah Palin. SHE is the one I've been waiting for. I am so excited about the election, now.
This one, and the one in 2016.
Monday, September 01, 2008
Hey, I'm all for good food, but
...some of y'all are insufferably snotty.
I gotta agree with the first person who said the truth---HALFWAY through the list: American cheese and white bread, dude. I would also suggest the addition of a slice o' ham, and some good tomatoes. It's a thing of beauty.
But the people who insist upon 3 different kinds of artisanal cheeses, layered in a specific pattern? WHO do they think they ARE?
It's a sandwich, ok?
I gotta agree with the first person who said the truth---HALFWAY through the list: American cheese and white bread, dude. I would also suggest the addition of a slice o' ham, and some good tomatoes. It's a thing of beauty.
But the people who insist upon 3 different kinds of artisanal cheeses, layered in a specific pattern? WHO do they think they ARE?
It's a sandwich, ok?
Sunday, August 31, 2008
What Surrender Looks Like
After guest-posting at Sue's blog, I felt honor-bound to try Vegemite. But I failed. Failed miserably. I went to five stores before finding the next-best thing, Marmite.
Son #1 is at work. Hubby refused to even consider trying it. But the rest of us have given Marmite a shot, spread, thinly on buttered toast. And here is the verdict:
Son #2: I'm never eating Redcoat food again, ever.
Son #3: I didn't mind it at first, but then it tasted terrible.
Son #4: At first, I liked it, but then it got kind of a bad aftertaste. So, I wouldn't eat it again, but, well, you have your own tastes. (He said this, mind you, after spitting his toast into the trash.)
And me? Well?
I like it. So sue me.
Although I have to say, I cannot imagine any American product with a notation on the label---right out front!---telling you you should not eat very much of it. I mean, do they WANT us to think it is bad?
Holy Mary, Mother of Hair Metal
We were invited to a party last night. Hubby's old band was the entertainment. And boy, were we entertained, in a perverse, schadenfreudey kinda way. Because since they gave Hubby the boot, they have become...an 80s hair metal band.
Actually, although the music they play is not what you'd call...great, they execute it pretty well. So, no real complaints there, and I think we both wish them well.
But the best part of all was seeing the Mother of Our Lord, front-and-center. Who knew she liked Def Leppard?
(Pour some sugar on mehhhhh, in the name of God! Pour some sugar on mehhhh....I'm made of concreeeete, from my head down to my feet, yeah!)
I'm sorry, it just is funny.
Saturday, August 30, 2008
Looks like somebody in Chicago loves Shakes the Clown
Not me. Ohhhh, no. I could not sit through that movie if you paid me (although the part where they attack the mimes was weirdly satisfying).
But, hey, if you know a drunken clown in Chicago, he totally needs to visit craigslist.
But, hey, if you know a drunken clown in Chicago, he totally needs to visit craigslist.
What Hubby Said about Sarah Palin, before the pick
"I hope McCain picks that Alaskan Governor chick, for VP. She's hot."
So, I guess that makes her a candidate Hubby could get behind, if, um...she didn't slap his hand first.
Yeah, I know. I just could not help myself.
So, I guess that makes her a candidate Hubby could get behind, if, um...she didn't slap his hand first.
Yeah, I know. I just could not help myself.
Thursday, August 28, 2008
Theeeeeeese little town bluuuuuues arrrrrrrrre melting awaaaaaaay
Yeah, I had 'em. And, yeah, all it took was about 2 seconds of bright lights to shake me out of the doldrums. We are already planning our next trip back to NYC.
Coincidentally, today my mother asked if I wanted to join her, and my sister, and my great-aunt, for a trip to see the Rockettes this December. Yeah, in New York.
I turned her down.
Because no matter how much I want to go, I do not want to ride the Chinese Bus with my mother and sister. They would arrest me on arrival in New York. I just know it. Ain't worth it. My mom can say it will be fun, as many times as she likes, but that does not make it so.
And here is Hubby, again, with his old pal Satan, at the Hell's Kitchen Flea Market. Which rocked, hard core. I mean, they had a giant, inflatable Satan, OK? Top THAT.
Coincidentally, today my mother asked if I wanted to join her, and my sister, and my great-aunt, for a trip to see the Rockettes this December. Yeah, in New York.
I turned her down.
Because no matter how much I want to go, I do not want to ride the Chinese Bus with my mother and sister. They would arrest me on arrival in New York. I just know it. Ain't worth it. My mom can say it will be fun, as many times as she likes, but that does not make it so.
And here is Hubby, again, with his old pal Satan, at the Hell's Kitchen Flea Market. Which rocked, hard core. I mean, they had a giant, inflatable Satan, OK? Top THAT.
I am Queen of eBay
Because I just listed my 20th auction item of the week. Best not sit still around here, or you'll find yourself up for bids online.
Sunday, August 24, 2008
To find I'm king of the hill--top of the heap
Ya know how New Yorkers all seem to act like they were born in the Cradle of Civilization? They are better than the rest of us, and they do not hesitate to let us know. It is kinda insufferable. But who's going to argue with a New Yorker? It's not worth the wasted breath.
It's also kind of understandable.
You can get anything in New York. Whenever.
Yesterday I spent about 90 minutes here in the Happy Boondocks, looking for Vegemite, with no success. I have every confidence that if I asked the concierge at our hotel where to find Vegemite at 2 am, he would tell me, "Ya turn left and walk to 8th. Go about 6 blocks, and there's a store..."
Then again, maybe my problem is not that I live in the Happy Boondocks. Maybe it's just that my house does not include concierge service.
Yes, I am a spoiled brat. 5 days in the Cradle of Civilization will do that to you.
This is a photo of a pair of shorts I think all parents of teenage daughters will appreciate. Available, naturally, in New York. Or at least they were in the shop window.
Son #1 is Accosted by Cougars
Last night we took Sons #1, 2 and 4 to see the 25th Hour Band. They are very talented and we had a great time. And here, for your viewing pleasure, is a rare glimpse of The Sons: Son #1, being accosted by cougars. They grabbed him and danced with him and he rolled with it. I think he is getting used to the idea that women in their 40s and 50s cannot get enough of that Son #1 Stuff. Pretty much the same reaction he gets from teen girls.
That's him, in the white and grey t-shirt, cringing as a woman older than his mother tries to plant a wet one on him.
What can I say? The boy is a force of nature.
Saturday, August 23, 2008
Sue Loves Vegemite
And so shall we all. Or at least that is my hope. I'm guest posting over there on Sunday, so y'all should go visit. But come back, OK? I'll miss you.
Thursday, August 21, 2008
I wanna wake up in the city that doesn't sleep
Actually, that is where I woke up every morning, this summer. Because, as Fiddlin' Writer's husband will tell you, "if you don't stay on teenagers, they go nocturnal". Yesterday was the first day of school and I think they are back on target, mostly.
Back to New York, though: those people DO have something going all night long. One night, Hubby and I were watching a terrific band. No dance floor, though, so I was sitting. Which, come the wee hours, is a guarantee I'll fall asleep.
1:30 am, I asked Hubby to walk me back to our hotel. Which he did. But he asked me, on the walk, why I wanted to leave. Did I not like the band?
Um, no. I may feel like a city chick, but this boondocks-livin' woman needed to get to sleep. Back home, 1:30 am is pretty much "last call".
A few hours later, he returned, with the pizza-by-the-slice experience of a lifetime. I really should have gotten out of bed and had a bite. But, dude. The CITY may never sleep, but Christine is a big fan of shut-eye. BIG fan.
Sunday, August 17, 2008
In old Newwwwwww Yorrrrrrrrk
We didn't go toooooo overboard on the touristy stuff, but we did go to the top of Rockefeller Center, and then we took this photo down on the street. Or, I should say, Hubby took it while I ate a hot dog. I don't particularly like being 69 stories off the ground, but it was a beautiful view.
Can't Say They Didn't Warn You
For those of you who do not live in the Happy Boondocks with me: We live in a Navy town. Lots of non-military people still make a living off the water. And yes, that is a strip joint in the background.
I laughed all the way home.
Friday, August 15, 2008
Sue asked for it, Sue got it
Sue said I should, so how could I argue?
(S.) season of choice? Summer.
(T.) tag seven peeps! You read this far? TAG, you're it!
(U.) unknown fact about me? In 7th grade, I tried to get everyone to call me "Betsy". It did not work.
(V.) vegetable? Yeah, I eat 'em. Better when someone else cooks them, usually.
(W.) worst habits? Tendency to stew.
(X.) x-ray or ultrasound? Have had 'em both.
(Y.) your favorite food? jalapeno poppers, at the moment.
(Z.) zodiac sign? Libra. Sheep. Any other calendars out there I am supposed to consult?
A.) attached or single? Married 20 years last week. Remember? Anniversary trip?
(B.) best friend? Kate. She pushes, she pulls, she laughs when I take myself too seriously. She can handle anything but bullshit.
(C.) cake or pie? I'll have a little of each, please. With whipped cream.
(D.) day of choice? Mondays. I feel productive.
(E.) essential item? I love my Nuvi.
(F. ) favorite color? It changes. Just, you know, not pink.
(G. ) gummy bears or worms? No. Swedish Fish.
(H.) hometown? Gambrills. But it's been a long time. I've lived in Lexington Park longer, by now.
(I.) favorite indulgence? Frozen mochas.
(J. ) January or July? January SUCKS. What a dumb question.
(K. ) kids? 4 boys. 16, 14, 13, 12.
(L.) life isn't complete without? Change and challenge.
M.) marriage date? August 6, 1988. Because we wanted to start things "with a bang"...also, that was the day the O Club had open for our reception.
(N.) number of brothers & sisters? one sister. We are completely dissimilar.
(O.) oranges or apples? Yes, please.
(P.) phobias? Used to be water, sharks and heights. Don't like any of those, but not terrified like I was.
(Q.) quotes? "But what if your family doesn't like bread? What if they like, say, cigarettes?" -- Fat Tony, The Simpsons.
(S.) season of choice? Summer.
(T.) tag seven peeps! You read this far? TAG, you're it!
(U.) unknown fact about me? In 7th grade, I tried to get everyone to call me "Betsy". It did not work.
(V.) vegetable? Yeah, I eat 'em. Better when someone else cooks them, usually.
(W.) worst habits? Tendency to stew.
(X.) x-ray or ultrasound? Have had 'em both.
(Y.) your favorite food? jalapeno poppers, at the moment.
(Z.) zodiac sign? Libra. Sheep. Any other calendars out there I am supposed to consult?
Thursday, August 14, 2008
Laundry, etc
Hubby took Sons #3 and 4 to the beach today. They'll be back on Sunday. I stayed home, so that Son #1 could work. And Son #2 is happiest hermitting in his room, anyway. So, it's a quiet couple of days, ahead.
Coincidentally, our replacement washer arrived this morning. I am on my 5th load of laundry.
I am still using the crock pot pretty much continuously---yesterday was apple oatmeal (I like it better undercooked in the microwave) and tonight is French Onion Soup. Which, if you make it yourself, you realize is basically onions and way too much butter. But it's still good. And the whole house smells like caramelized onions. Which is cutting the "old laundry" stank. It's an improvement, really!
I figure I'll spend my time cleaning this place...school starts in a couple days and I am in no way ready.
Coincidentally, our replacement washer arrived this morning. I am on my 5th load of laundry.
I am still using the crock pot pretty much continuously---yesterday was apple oatmeal (I like it better undercooked in the microwave) and tonight is French Onion Soup. Which, if you make it yourself, you realize is basically onions and way too much butter. But it's still good. And the whole house smells like caramelized onions. Which is cutting the "old laundry" stank. It's an improvement, really!
I figure I'll spend my time cleaning this place...school starts in a couple days and I am in no way ready.
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
I'm gonna make a braaaaaand new staaaart of it
We drove to NY and back, so our car was in a parking garage across the street from the hotel, but we didn't need it at all. We took the subway once, a taxi twice, but otherwise just hoofed it. Which was great, because when we were not walking we were eating. Remember the sandwich? Here it is again:
We also heard terrific music. Really, really great music. Blues at BB King's (awesome dinner, too), and rock at Smith's Bar, which, were it in southern Maryland, would feature drunken rednecks singing the wrong lyrics to an off-key Man in the Box, but in Manhattan had talented bands with singers who were almost good enough to make it. But not quite. We even bought a CD from one of the performers, mostly because we knew the girl deserved SOMETHING.
We saw Young Frankenstein, which was actually a musical. And still funny.
We ate Thai food. And it was disappointing. Not bad, exactly, but not as good as we can get here at home. Which was a great thing to discover. Something! We have SOMETHING they don't have!
Hubby also found fantastic bagels, crisp, delicious popcorn, and pizza by the slice that made him moan so hard I got jealous. I picked up black-and-white cookies for the Sons, and rugelach. Yum. And, yes, we spent $42 at the Hershey's store. Because, well, if you're going to be gone for 5 days you should come home with a boatload of candy.
We also heard terrific music. Really, really great music. Blues at BB King's (awesome dinner, too), and rock at Smith's Bar, which, were it in southern Maryland, would feature drunken rednecks singing the wrong lyrics to an off-key Man in the Box, but in Manhattan had talented bands with singers who were almost good enough to make it. But not quite. We even bought a CD from one of the performers, mostly because we knew the girl deserved SOMETHING.
We saw Young Frankenstein, which was actually a musical. And still funny.
We ate Thai food. And it was disappointing. Not bad, exactly, but not as good as we can get here at home. Which was a great thing to discover. Something! We have SOMETHING they don't have!
Hubby also found fantastic bagels, crisp, delicious popcorn, and pizza by the slice that made him moan so hard I got jealous. I picked up black-and-white cookies for the Sons, and rugelach. Yum. And, yes, we spent $42 at the Hershey's store. Because, well, if you're going to be gone for 5 days you should come home with a boatload of candy.
These vagabond shoes are longing to stray
And so they did, up and down the streets of Manhattan for 5 days. Which was tremendous. So much to see, so much to do, so many blisters on Hubby's feet he could barely walk, some days. So, we became intimately acquainted with the Foot Care section of Duane Reade, and I switched my hot stilettos for a pair of flip flops.
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
Crunchy cockpot beans
In my continuing enthusiasm for all things crock pot, I made the garbanzo beans-that-are-supposed-to-be-like-cornnuts. I cooked them for about 20 hours, instead of the 10 on the recipe. At 10 hours, they were not crunchy.
But now, mmmmmmm.
They are not exactly as crunchy as a cornnut, but then again they are not exactly junk food, either. I am contentedly snacking on roasted garbanzo beans at my desk, in a house full of candy, cake, and other junk. So that has got to tell you something.
I am definitely making these again.
I wanna beeeee a part of it! New York, New Yorrrrrrk!
Ah, the street sounds.Hubby gave me his wireless internet thingy so I could keep up with email and such. Mostly I used it to tell people I need to move to New York. Or, better yet, a giant New York-like city in a conservative, Southern state.
Houston? Are you listening? You need me. Hubby says so.
So I would walk down to Starbucks or Jamba Juice or the Asian-owned deli, hit the salad bar and hang out upstairs while Hubby slept...chatting with friends, writing, surfing the net, but most importantly just listening to the city.
Why is it that TV sounds grate on my nerves, but sirens and traffic do not?
The deli bars were great. Huge, varied, and fresh. And it is easy to find unsweetened jasmine tea.
Cynthia just went on a big rant about how great it is to live here in the middle of nowhere, because you can get perfect tomatoes and cucumbers and sea salt. Oh, PLEASE. New York has all that, too. Only they have it in the middle of the city, and it will cost you.
Sing it, Eva!
Here's the front of our hotel. We were just steps away from Times Square. The room itself was nothing out of the ordinary, but the location was PERFECT. That little green awning is at the deli.
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