It's totally not fair that she's fitter than me

This morning I was on the elliptical machine. There were 2 women next to me doing the same thing, but they had come to the gym together and were talking to each other. One of them said,

"You know what would make the perfect gym, for me?"

And I was thinking, "Actually, I love this gym just the way it is. Lots of cardio machines, lots of weights, lots of classes, help if you need it but they leave you alone otherwise, 5 minutes from my house, decent music most days, and I never feel totally schlubby, even when the really buff people are there. Gee, I wonder what this woman would like to add?"

I was all ready to hear her tips. Some new class or piece of equipment that would ramp up my workout.

"If they had really dark, glossy, hardwood floors, and grey pads on the machines, and that really, really pale yellow on the walls. That would be great."