My Parents Are Coming

Son #3's birthday, and my parents' wedding anniversary, are both this Sunday. Since Son #3 is having a sleepover tomorrow, my parents have decided to come down tonight, for dinner and presents.

It is time to prepare.

I have to clean everything, like everyone does when the parents descend. But I have a list of other things I need to do, too.

Must get the mail before Mom empties my mail box, flipping through each envelope and asking about it (and perhaps opening one or two, if they pique her interest). If the mail lady brings an actual BOX to the door, while my parents are around, I have no chance of opening it in private. None.

Must hide my desk calendar, because she will note all events over the next month or two and invite herself along. "1:00, Copsey's Seafood, what is that? We'd love to come."

Must stash all my medications, because at this point she does not know that I have a few manageable health conditions and I do not want to spend the next 25 years listening to advice about them.

Must finish writing the article that's due today, because if I'm still writing when she gets here she will stand in the narrow path between my desk chair and the wall, to read over my shoulder and make "Hmmmm. Huh!" noises and ask when I'm going to write something about my sister.

Must stash my bag of "stuff to sell on eBay", because I am not allowed to get rid of ANYTHING.

Must get rid of the recycling, because it's got mail and scrap paper in there and she will look through it.

Must encourage Son #2 to finish assembling the complicated furniture she bought for his room (that he does not want).

Must discourage Son #1 from sharing too many Colorful Stories about life in high school.

Must remove blue nail polish.

Is that it? I think so. My day is planned for me, huh?