Palpitationista

This whole "motherhood" gig is, currently, on my last nerve. I need a few days where I am not in charge of the minutiae of children's lives. You know, the "did you do your math-did you make your bed-did you brush your teeth-stop hassling your brother-eat a piece of fruit-I TOLD you to put your laundry away-this essay is too short-Wonder Bread is not a vegetable and you know it" that is my personal Gregorian chant.

I am sick of it.

I hate nagging people. I would rather do things myself, I would even comfortably see things not get done, if the alternative is to nag. Unfortunately, as Mom, I am required by God, the Universe, the State of Maryland and human decency to do what I can to train these boys up to be responsible citizens.

Which basically means that nagging, and watching over, and correcting, and waiting, and reminding, and watching, and waiting, and bobbing back and forth between all the boys for my every waking moment, is the life I chose. Which sucks.

What do I want?

I want the boys to wake up with out me having to bang on their door or hover over their beds. I want them to make their beds, shower without using up all the hot water, and get breakfast before 8:30 without me saying anything. This would make daily trips to the gym not just possible, but enjoyable.

I want them to start their school work, and work steadily on it, without talking much aside from asking me for clarification. I want them to turn in completed assignments without nagging from me. I want them to check the chore chart on the fridge, and DO the chores, without nagging from me. I want trash in the trash can, laundry in the hamper, dishes in the dishwasher and deodorant on the armpits. This would make keeping the house clean a simple chore, and family outings easy to arrange.

I want them to eat the dinner I prepare, without complaining. That would make cooking feel less a waste of time.

All in all, I feel like I'm not asking for all that much, really. Just enough to make homelife pleasant, instead of a constant pulling of teeth. If they would just do what they need to do, without so much of the dragged-backward-through-the-hedges drama, I know they'd find they'd have a huge chunk of free time every day, too, and a mom who isn't on their case. It's a total winner.

On the other hand, I might as well expect a million dollars to fall out of my purse.