Wednesday, May 28, 2008

I've Got It Bad

Procrastination, that is.

I'm still working on the big project that is due today. Honest, I am. Pay no attention to the new blog entries that keep popping up. Or the fresh scent of fabric softener wafting out of my basement. Or the fact that I have seen photos of Nichole Ritchie's baby, ABOUT WHOM I COULD NOT CARE LESS.

Oh, no. I'm not wasting time. Not me.

It's just that I can only check so many web sites and call so many phone numbers to check on updated info from last year before my eyeballs, brain, and behind go completely square.

I think I'll go scrub a bathroom or something, and then get back to it.

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Because I Once Lived Overseas

Hubby and I lived in Thailand for a little over three years. Son #1 was born there.

When people hear this, they very often say something about how it must have been an amazing, life-changing experience. And it was. But to be honest, many of the changes were not all that huge and meaningful. So, hey, here's a handful.

Because I once lived overseas:

I wear jeans all summer.
Hardly ever bother to buy shorts. About halfway through my spin class, I start to sweat like I used to sweat, standing around at work in Thailand. So, you know, it's not that hot, ok?

I don't need a tan. Thais think pale skin is beautiful. They like big noses, too. Somehow, though, that combination did not turn me into The Sex Goddess of Thailand. But, hey, at least I will probably not be all wrinkly and cancerous when I am 60.

I make really good fried rice.
I have a few other dishes I can whip up, but the fried rice was the hardest one to learn how to do. I had no idea it would be so difficult. So I am especially proud of it. Come over, and I'll make you some.

I was once kicked out of a women's clothing store for being so fat they had nothing to offer me, and the saleslady was afraid I would scare off customers. At the time, I weighed 120 lbs and was an American size 9.

I have cursed a man out for copping a feel.
People in Thailand assume, thanks to Hollywood, that American women will fuck anything. So, you know, if you sit next to the bus driver, he will grab whatever he can reach. That happened enough times that I stopped sitting next to the bus driver :) One day, I was walking with Son #1, who was an EXTREMELY ADORABLE baby, if I may say so myself, and a man asked to hold him. This happened ALL the time. Thai people LOVED Son #1. As well they should.

Turns out, though, that the man only wanted to hold my baby as an excuse to run his hands across my chest, at length, when he returned said baby to me.

I yelled at him. Something along the lines of, "Hey! Don't do that! That's rude!" But then I realized: I am way angrier than that. And I do not know how to communicate that, in Thai. I did not know a single Thai obscenity. But you know what? I knew a LOT of them, in English. And I let him hear every last one of them. At top volume. While jabbing my finger at him with one hand, and holding my baby on the opposite hip. Boy, did he apologize. I backed that man down the street for quite some time, and didn't care HOW rude I was being to him or WHAT anyone else might think. That was SOME FUN.

I know what it feels like to be tall.
When I got off the plane in Bangkok, I could see over just about everyone. It was awesome. I loved being tall. Because at 5'3", I do not get that experience very often at all. It was, I will say, fantastic, except for one time. And that is a story for another post.

I have no sympathy for illegal aliens.
We knew a guy who let his visa lapse, in Thailand. All of us, every foreigner he knew, let him know that he was being irresponsible and stupid, and that he was disrespecting Thai law. We gave him boatloads of grief, until he got his visa stamp and was legal again. Yes, people have lots of lovely reasons for what they do. I don't care. My family came here legally. I lived abroad legally. Get in line, folks.

There are probably lots more things I could mention, here, but...this is just a blog break before I get back to work. May Deadlines kick my butt something royal, every year, and this is no exception. So, hey, maybe I will do this again, sometime.

Monday, May 26, 2008

For Cyndie: 5 Things That Make You Wanna Suck a Gun

Airsoft pellets all over the basement floor.

Cleaning up videogame controllers in the morning, coming back down in the afternoon and cleaning up the same controllers, even though I KNOW FOR A FACT that they did not play that game. They just took the controllers out and spread them on the floor. And removed a lot of the batteries, while they were at it.

Being told that it is His Right to have a messy room. And having to explain that His Right to a messy room extends only so far: not, for instance, to the point where we are ALL enjoying roaches.

Washing folded laundry: because if you leave clean laundry on the floor long enough, the dog will pee on it.

Knowing that I have a family history of children who never leave The Nest. Please, God, make them want to get the hell out when they graduate.

Sunday, May 25, 2008


I tend to forget that the rest of the family expects to eat. Like, meals. I could just about live on my frozen mochas. So, when someone or other mentions that they are hungry, and want to eat, I suck on a mocha while I cook. Hubby says I am getting skinny. Maybe the two are related?

I am not about to spend money on gas, if I can avoid it. So, that means I strap on a backpack and walk to Walmart. I'm gonna have to do that a lot, this summer, since I can't fit all our groceries into one backpack. And I think Hubby will be bringing ice cream home on his way home from work.

I have discovered, however, that I need the occasional Mental Health Day. And those are totally worth the gasoline.

I am still way obsessed with Amy Winehouse and ACME Blues Company. You can probably hear one or the other, wherever I am. But I am very pleased to hear Son #4 singing along with Santana.

Hubby's band is narrowing down a replacement drummer. Looks like they've found someone. I CANNOT WAIT to see them play out. Because I need to dance, ok? A lot. And I have a raging crush on the bass player of Contact Buzz.

I am digging out of a ton of work that I had been procrastinating on, in favor of cleaning. Ya know what? Whether or not I kill myself cleaning, this house is still a pit. So I gotta write, because I actually LIKE writing, and they PAY me for it. But I 'm still going to clean. It's the nature of the mango, folks!

I am starting to accept that I can do some stuff, and other stuff I can't. For whatever reason. And I don't have to be everything to everybody. I just need to tackle today as best I can.

I am relying on my friends, and grateful beyond measure for their friendship. You KNOW who you are. Every last one of you.

I want to enjoy life, more than I want to be right.

Is any of this meaningful? Maybe. But maybe not. It's just me. Please to enjoy.

Friday, May 23, 2008

Friday, May 16, 2008

Hayes Carll

Matt has been playing this at blues jam, lately, but not last night, so I had to go looking for it. Fortunately, YouTube has gotten on the stick.

Thursday, May 15, 2008

What girl doesn't like bacon?

"Is he going to his girlfriend's house?"

Yes, as a matter of fact Son #1 has been invited to dinner with The Girl's family tonight.

"Is he bringing bacon?"


"Well, if you had a boyfriend, and he brought bacon, wouldn't you like that? What girl doesn't like bacon?"

Son #3 does have a point. Bacon is good. But not one of your more traditional courting gifts.

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Thanks to jtj3

1.Your name plus “ness”
Christineness. Sounds pointless.

2. Two feelings at the moment? Hungry and expectant

3. What are you listening to right now? The shower, and the tv. Thank god the shower is loud enough to tune out the TV

4. Done anything you regret so far this week? Not really, but, hey, it's only Wednesday

5. Describe where you are right now? In the corner of my living room, next to the picture window.

6.The highlight of your week? Do I have to pick? No, I do not. Blues Jam tomorrow and then an ACME Blues Company show on Saturday. I shall be dancing my little butt off. Oh, OK, I pick the ACME show. Because it is a longer night.

7. What are you craving to have right now? Frozen mocha. And I shall, in just a few minutes.

8. Who were the last people you went out to dinner with? My parents, my sister, and the Sons and I went out for truly horrible pizza on Thursday.

9. What are you scared of? Sharks. Drowning. And drowning and then being eaten by sharks. Also, mediocrity.

10. Last movie you watched? Ironman

11. Do you have feelings for someone? Yes!

12. What is your heritage? Italian mother, Brit father, but everyone's been in the US for 120 years so who would know? Just means I like floppy bacon AND pizzelle.

13. Are you thinking of someone right now? Yes.

14. Britney Spears is a skank. Agree or disagree? Well, let's just call her confused.

15. Last thing you downloaded on your computer? flexible healthcare spending reimbursement forms. Because I know how to party!

16.Have you changed much this year? Oh, yeaaaah.

17. Say something about the person who posted this before you? He commented on my blog the other day...just to be nice when I felt lousy.

18. Do you like moms? Some of them. Sometimes even myself.

19.Hugs Or Kisses? Oh, kisses, for sure.

20. Say one of your friends and an inside joke with them. Mike--HOW HARD COULD IT BE?

21. How many homes have you lived in? 11

22. This Q went AWOL. And so it shall be court martialed.

23. Who was the last person to text message you? My Man.

24. Where was the last place you went besides where you are? I drove the Sons to tae kwon do, and then picked up Chinese food AND pizza. Because I am such an awesome wife and mother that I wanted to make EVERYONE happy. Plus, I didn't have to cook.

25. Has anyone ever said you looked like a celeb? Yes, but it's been a long time, because that show went off the air ages ago.

26. Do you speak any other language other than English? I used to speak Thai, but I have forgotten just about all of it.

27. Last thing you watched on TV? Um...something about new helmet-based systems on military planes. I watched about 2 minutes of it. Sounded very cool.

28. Do you dress for style or comfort? Both!

29. Name someone with the same b-day as you? John Lennon

30. Ever had a drunken night in Mexico? No, but I did have a tequila sunrise in Tijuana. Would have had a drunken night, but Hubby got hit by a car before we could drink more than one...

31. Whats the craziest thing you’ve done? I don't think I have ever done anything crazy. Ever.

32. Favorite colour(s)? Blue and green

33. What are your plans for tonight? take the Sons to tae kwon do. Maybe write a bit.

34. What are you looking forward to tomorrow? Blues jam!

35. Last time you smiled? Just a minute ago, while listening to Johnny Cash.

Friday, May 09, 2008

Head cold

Ugh. I am hanging around in my bathrobe all day, sucking frozen mocha through a straw and shopping the Victoria's Secret catalog online. Apparently, when I am sick, I become a self-absorbed 15-year-old with a caffeine jones.

Wednesday, May 07, 2008

Does that count?

I looked outside our bathroom window and saw about 2 feet of apparently pristine toilet paper in a shrub.

If someone runs around to the back of your house and places one small length of toilet paper in a bush, does that count as TPing?

More Pointless Than the Landmark You Sought drove all that way to see a tree. And there is, indeed, a tree. But it is not the tree you drove to see. Are you still excited?

If any of you know why I should want to see the original Milestown Oak, please let me know.

Tuesday, May 06, 2008

For Sue and Hubby

Sue, over at Beggar's Shotglass, talks about boobs a lot. She loves the boobage. A while back she suggested we should all post photos of our boobs on our blogs.

I didn't give it much thought, until Hubby followed the link to her blog a few weeks ago, and asked,

"Why don't you talk about boobs on your blog?"

The short answer is, not much to say about boobs.

But, hey, for Sue, and Hubby, and boob appreciators everywhere, here ya go. Christine, and her Girls, taken just a few minutes ago.

Saturday, May 03, 2008

Some things, you just have to blog

Like, for instance, if you find yourself friends with a man they call "Thunder Cock". Dear GOD, if you have a photo to prove THAT, it goes on the blog.

Not that I can vouch for the, um...Thunder. Let's just assume all the hype is justified. Anyone with first-hand knowledge, please dish in the Comments section.

Iron Man

We took the three youngest Sons to see Iron Man last night. Son #1 claimed that he would rather stay home and mow the lawn. Hubby and I realized IMMEDIATELY that he would not, in fact, mow the lawn, but would rather spend the evening visiting his girlfriend.

That included a bike ride to her house, which required the use of my cell phone, because naturally he had to talk to her on the ride. Also predictable? He stayed at her house for so long that he was afraid to bike home in the dark, so I had to go pick him up, after the movie.

Anyway, we all enjoyed Iron Man. The Men liked it for the story and the cinematography. And I, well, I have been staring at Robert Downey Jr. since, like, FOREVER.