Friday, July 24, 2009

Yeah, "Mark", I'm talking to you

I've been in Dell Tech Support Hell for the past couple of weeks, trying to fix Son #4's computer. My joy is made even more full with the knowledge that when I finally get this one fixed, I am going to have to move on to Son #3's computer. Basically, I am spending every free moment, and a lot which are NOT free, on the phone with people with hard-to-understand accents and a script which requires I shoot myself or throw the computer off a cliff before they'll honor the return-to-depot warranty we've purchased.

First, I had to convince them it was a hardware issue. That took about 6 hours, over 2 days.

Then, I had to convince them that the part they sent was not compatible with the machine. That took a while.

Now, I am working on convincing them that the second replacement part they sent is STILL not going to fit into the machine. Because it is not built for the machine we own. Because the tech support guys keep sending stuff that is not designed for our system.

I do not need it explained to me. I do not need to run one single minute of diagnostics, or talk to anyone else other than a supervisor--someone who can put an end to this and just get things fixed.

And I keep requesting said supervisor, which gets me put on hold.

Which is a good thing, because I use the time on hold to cook dinner.

Everyone in Tech Support sounds Indian, or something. I swear, they do not make enough curry to reimburse me for my time.

So yesterday, in a desperate bid to SHOW "Mark" that the part he sent is physically different from the part I am trying to replace, I offered to take a photo of the 2 hard drives, side-by-side, and email it to him.

He said I could.

I took the photo.

I saved it in a folder which I then named in a fit of "I am trying to be civil but these people have sent me over the edge and it's not like they'll ever know anyway".

And then he said I could not email it to him. Instead, I had to let him control my computer remotely, and find the photo and look at it that way.

So, yeah, that is when I had to tell "Mark" to look for the photo in the file labeled "Dell Bastards".


Atomic Lola said...

What a nightmare. More and more companies are doing that now. Outsourcing their phone services to foreign countries. It's been happening with my bank and it's driving me crazy. I think from now on, before I decide on a service provider or buy a product I'm going to make sure they don't outsource their customer service support. Buy USA!

Sue said...

hahaahahahaha, perfection!

HTDC Editor said...

This is priceless! It is for this reason that I would never own a Dell, and even try hard to not work briefly on anyone else's...but it is not limited to Dell anyway...I have been reduced to idiotic screaming and insulting tech support staff who calmly answer back "Is there anything else that I may do for you today?"

Anonymous said...

I'm so sad that Dell outsourced. Their sales is 100% U.S. Hey I don't even mind talking to the Irish or Canadians, but Indians. Dude ... they suck at support on anything.

I'm about to buy a laptop and this may influence my decision. I thought companies had long since given up on outsourcing.

Anonymous said...

Bloody genius!!! This gave me such a laugh this morning!

Christine said...

Lola-Yes, actually, when we first bought the computers Dell was known for their great customer service. They only outsourced afterwards. So, ya never know...

Sue-Glad SOMEONE is enjoying it. I think "Mark" is about to pee his pants.

HTDC-Yes, I also love when they ask if I was satisfied with the service I recieved. "NO! I will be SATISFIED when my computer WORKS. You have done NOTHING to get me to that point."

Yeah, Knot, apparently it is still cheaper to drive your customers insane. Maybe some people don't bother with repairs, they just toss the machine and buy new.

Penelope-I'll do anything to keep you busy while you wait for vacation to start.

Andrea said...


ALF said...

That is awesome.

ALF said...

Oh, and this is why you should get a Mac.

Jill/Twipply Skwood said...

Funny! I mean, not for YOU but...funny!

I had to do that remote computer thing. And I had named my request something like, "Disgruntled customer" and then in the spot for address I put "At least I used to be a customer".

But it was Norton and their customer service was in the Philippines. I know, because I talked to the guy for like a million and a half years and as a result of our conversation, I believe he's going to sign up on Jdate (the Jewish dating website).