Questions and statements from Son #3, before 7 a.m. on a Monday

How does the Catholic Church canonize saints?
If you become a saint, does that mean you were always a saint?
Why does Uncle ____ hate the Catholic church so much? What are the SPECIFICS?
Why does he think that? That makes no sense.
When I'm a saint I'm going to send a meteor to the Amazon...and manatees...and baboons. Millions of lives saved. (Trust me, that is the short version)
Why is that not a certifiable miracle? There's no scientific explanation.
Why do people drag chairs instead of lifting them?
Even when teachers explain that they make noise downstairs?
And dragging them is actually harder than carrying them, because they are not heavy?
What do you think of the current Pope?
Maybe some saint is causing Tiger Woods' extended funk.
What do you think is the best haircut for an albino?

There were more, but they just kinda flowed over me and I can no longer remember them. I have only been up about one hour.