One less reason to pay taxes

Road repair.

THIS IS BRILLIANT!

I'd feel brilliant, if I didn't feel so ignorant

My yard is a mess. And for the most part I have accepted that, because with the Sons and all I have plenty to do inside the house.

Lately, though, they are slightly less time-consuming. Coincidentally, the days are getting longer, the weather more tolerable. I figure, now is as good a time as ever to chip away at the horror that is our landscaping.

So, I've been raking. I've been appreciating the outdoors, because I am out there. And it hit me, the other day, that although I do not want to plant anything new (I don't trust myself to water consistently enough to keep it alive, for one) there is probably plenty I can do with the existing stuff.

Like prune it all.

OK, so being an internet junkie I decided to look online for information on how and when to prune the various plants in my yard. In a flash of genius, I have been putting reminders--complete with links!--on my Yahoo calendar. So, for instance, I will be told to prune the nandina next at precisely the correct time.

I feel like a genius!

Except that I only can identify a small portion of the plants in the yard. So, should you be at Chez Waste of Time, please feel free to provide the name of any plant you see that you feel needs pruning. Because, well, if I know what it is, it's going on the schedule and will get the proper attention in due time. A year from now, if it looks shaggy, that is because I have no idea what it is and am afraid I'll kill it.

On a side note, today I took the Sons for their 6-month dental cleaning. Son #1 might need his wisdom teeth removed. Son #4 might need braces. And they talked the entire time. The office staff seem to love the Sons, but I think a couple of the more maternal people in the waiting room have decided I am raising the next generation of Hell.

Human Factors FAIL

This is the box for my new contact lenses.



Facepalm.

Solomons Island Tea Party

We attended--Hubby says there were about 500 people there, and that sounds about right. A huge gathering, by Happy Boondocks standards.

Son #4 was amused when some guy drove by, rolled down his window, and shouted, "Obama's gonna save the world!"

I took pictures, naturally, so swing on by if you'd like to see them.

There are lots more tea party protests going on all across the country, not that you'd know that from watching the news, so check out other people's photos on Flickr, too!

WANTED: Musicians

Are you a musical snob with a long list of songs you refuse to play?
Do you hate the music that gets a bar crowd on the dance floor?
Can we count on you to drink until you pass out on stage, use illegal drugs, or insult other members of the band on a racist or sexist level?
Will you make crude, unwanted comments to the wives and girlfriends of other band members?
If someone offers to help the band, will you accept their help and then act as if their efforts are insufficient to deserve thanks or acknowledgement?
Are you unavailable for practice or gigs on a regular basis?
Does criticism prove to you that the other person knows nothing about music?

THEN WE HAVE A JOB FOR YOU. Please apply.

Currently, our organization is in need of a drummer (adult) and a guitarist (high school-aged) but we will keep any and all applications on file, as turnover is shockingly rapid and needs constantly change.

For my local readers of a conservative bent...

The rest of you can surf elsewhere, but...if you are a Southern Marylander, maybe you'll want to join me at the Solomons Island Tea Party Protest this Sunday afternoon...

photos to follow!

Signs of Spring

Today the weather was wonderful, after a week of steady, grey dampness. So naturally I spent it outdoors, clearing off our decks, raking leaves out of the garden beds and generally just soaking up the sunny warmth of it all.

I found a fern in the back yard--no idea how it got there, as we haven't ever had them in the 14 years we've been here. And then tonight as I was waiting for dinner to cook I looked out the window and saw this guy.

This was the only shot I could get of him before he saw me and took off for a higher branch, with The Wife.

Cut Up, Not Across: A Plan for Diabetics Everywhere

OK, so now a study comes out that indicates that people with diabetes are more likely to get Alzheimer's disease. Oh, but don't worry, diabetics, you probably won't get that because you're gonna die of a stroke before your 70s.

WHY do I read the newspaper?

Worried? You betcha. Discouraged, I don't know...

I spent way too long looking for video of Robert Cray singing the 1040 Blues. I think my brain is dead. But I did e-file, just a few minutes ago.

Now I am going to prod my son over his spelling words, and then I am getting in the car to run errands. We are out of everything, and I am pasty and wild-eyed after all my time at the desk.

And I need a Frosty.

Who's that musician?

Son #1 wore this shirt to school today. He's a musician, and a huge fan, just like Hubby.

An African-American classmate saw the shirt and said, "Bob Marley? You don't know anything about black people."

Son #1's response? "I know enough about black people to know this is Jimi Hendrix."

I feel juuuuust a little sorry for that one teacher

First, you're dating someone with the maturity of a thirteen year old. He won't take you anywhere fun. Then he dumps you for the hot cheerleader. And then YOU go to jail.

Oh, right...because he IS 13.

Geez.

Are there no available adult men in Utah, that this kid looks that good to the female population?

Alternative thoughts:

--We have found the one characteristic that will keep two women who work in the same building from talking about who they are dating. Yup--"He's so cute, he's underage!" just isn't going to happen in the ladies' lounge. So at least they were THAT smart.

--Did all the little 12 and 13 year old girls at the school have crushes on this kid?

--Are we going to institute some kind of mental health screening before we hire teachers, to make sure they're not in the career because they see middle school as a dating pool?

--Perhaps every classroom should be equipped with one of those calendars they have in bars and liquor stores: "You must have been born before this date in 1990 to date the teacher".

--Maybe the school district should have mandatory "singles nights" for all the unattached staff. A chance for them to say, "See all these people? They are adults. You can go out with THEM. Or people who look and act like THEM. Because they are grown-ups."

--If your potential boyfriend is afraid to go into the teacher's lounge, or worried his mom might find out that his girl is older than she is, maybe you should just focus your energies on something other than your social life. Like visiting a shrink.

Gah. Get a grip, people! Stop crapping in the sandbox!

Is it Tuesday?

Man, a couple of days of being snowed in and I am totally disoriented. Perhaps it's the constant gamecube warfare in the basement. Maybe the four snow-capped zombies I used to call Sons, wandering from room to room with a glass of OJ and a slice of frozen pizza.

Hubby made it to work this morning, though, even though the snow plow has not yet been by our street. So I guess there is hope for the future.

Lemme go wash another load of soggy socks.

Mmmmm Snow

It is snowing. So far we have about 3 inches. I did a first pass on the driveway, because it is easier to shovel fresh snow than the full foot they think we're getting by morning. And just now I had a bowl of snowcream.

Mmmmm

Maple.

Plus.....No School Tomorrow!