Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Ask, and it shall be given to you

"I need to think of something to blog about. I haven't written shit, lately."

Yes, that is what I said, day before yesterday, to Knot.

I swear to God, I knew, when this arrived in the mail, that my bloggy prayers were answered. America, you have lost your minds. Know how I know?



Pardon the lousy picture. It is an advertisement that arrived with some coupons. It explains the Cottonelle Ultra 3 Steps to Luxury.

Step 1: Dry---that would be toilet paper, familiar to all you westerners.
Step 2: Flushable Moist Wipes
Step 3: Dry AGAIN. Because apparently those wipes are SO moist, you need to revisit.

I'm sorry. I appreciate the value of a clean and non-stank rear end as much as the next person. But this is ridiculous.

6 comments:

Christine said...

OH, and I definitely deserve credit for resisting the urge to ask you to pardon the CRAPPY picture, which was my original thought...

Knot said...

Everyone needs "3 steps to luxury" with ... something you wipe your bottom with.

ALF said...

Wow - that seems like overkill. Although maybe there are some very, very messy poopers out there.

Sue said...

Why not just get a bidet and save your septic from clogging up? (For those of use who rely on septic systems, the wrong TP can be a nightmare.)

Penelope said...

Oh my! I don't think that has made it across The Pond yet - probably just as well! As Sue says, that could kill our ancient plumbing ;o)

Jill/Twipply Skwood said...

Well, I guess anything that will get them to sell more toilet paper...

Now why do you dry before the wet? In case you're a really messy pooper? It seems like you could be plenty happy with just two out of three steps. Or even one out of three.

Anyway, how convenient that this came in the mail exactly when you needed it. That's probably why they REALLY invented it! :-) :-) :-)