After 17 hours in the car, last night we arrived home with just minutes to spare before the Superbowl kickoff. So, perfect timing. Then again...
the pets were foodless and waterless, and had torn up all the used kleenex and empty dog food packets and strewn them throughout the house. They had also, in what must have been a nutrientless frenzy, knocked over 2 lamps and a coat rack in the living room, and the garbage can in the kitchen.
There was a live bird trapped in the garage, who flew into the house with us, so we spent a half hour chasing a bird before I could run out for dinner.
Crossing the parking lot at Food Lion, two crazy rednecks slalomed around me several times. I was glad to make it back to my car in one piece.
So I was distracted when I ordered dinner, and the KFC people gave us mostly thighs.
While I was avoiding flaming death, Hubby was checking our voicemail...most of which concerned a presentation he has to give this morning, which "I'm sure you know all about". Or at least he would, if he hadn't spent the previous week in Tampa.
The monstrous sea sponge we carted home from Tampa has a monstrous dead smell to go with it, so we can't stand to have it in the house yet.
And this morning, Otis left a massive load on the den carpet, while Son #3 was taking a shower with the shower door open, flooding the bathroom and the basement below. That same son also lost patience with my "we'll go for haircuts this morning" promises, and gave himself a stylin' new pixie mullet.
I am going to take a deep breath, upload our vacation photos to Snapfish, shower with self-absorbed leisureliness, and spend the rest of the day whipping this craphole back into shape.