When a man loves a woman? Really, Percy?

Was just listening to "When A Man Loves A Woman" and it struck me: no way he is singing about the love a man has for a woman:

He'd give up all his comfort
Sleep out in the rain
If she says that's the way it ought to be

You just show me the woman who insists her man abandon a comfortable place to camp in inclement weather. No, if a man is sleeping out in the rain, I will lay you odds his wife is sitting in the car, bitching. Probably texting her friends, too, to document that her husband took her camping in a typhoon.

But, hey, I am forever grateful for the man who loves this woman to put up with my heaping helping of crap. Just, you know--he can rest assured I will not insist he sleep out in the rain. Ohhh, no.

Christine's Product Round-Up

As in, you need this stuff:

Wal-Mart has these Fudge Marshmallow Cookies--they are basically the world's most nearly perfect PMS food, and I only discovered them yesterday. Get them. Great Value brand.

Green Logic ELIMINATOR--a friend sent me a bottle and that stuff is AMAZING. It is the only cleaning product I have ever used which makes things smell like--nothing. Not flowers-and-stink, not chemicals-and-stink, but rather like...clean air. It is terrific.

Paperwork, and other joys

The dishes are done. The laundry is done. I have flushed all the dog poop I can find. Hubby's library books are neatly stacked, ready for return, next to the giant bag of recyclable paper trash which I will deposit after my trip to the gym. I've fought the insurance company (and won!)and have a small but manageable stack of paperwork to mess with and file, this morning, while nagging children to do their school work.

I love Monday mornings. I feel so competent.

Because I'm a genius, that's why

Son #1 flipped out a couple of weeks ago, because his uniform was not ready on the day he needed it. I could almost see his brain processing the thought: "Mom may not do all my laundry every day." The other day, he did a load of laundry on his own, because he needed a shirt. His room, while not clean, is slightly less terrifying. And he has cut back on his work hours, because he decided that his grades would come up if he did. Clearly, on some level, my "Hey, it's YOUR life, you've got to figure out how to make it work," speeches have sunk in.

Also this week, I had a massive craving for Russian Tea. You know, the stuff with the Tang in it. I found a recipe online. It is full of sugar. I don't want a lot of sugar, and tend to find most things too sweet, anyway, but if you don't put the sugar in the proportions are all wrong. But we have that powdered flavorless fiber stuff...which I am now going to use in place of the sugar in the recipe, so that it measures like it should, but is now not a Secret Evil Treat, but instead a Healthy Nutritional Supplement.

I have been going through the house looking for stuff to eBay (in addition to the stuff I'm eBaying for a friend, on commission), leading to a small infusion of cash each week. Feel pretty good about that.

My spin instructor says my form is perfect. I would rather have a perfect BODY and crappy form, but I will take what I can get.

The family Christmas cards have arrived, and I got Christmas stamps at the post office, and I have put them aside to work on at my friend's annual Christmas Prep Party. I also have found some very cool Christmas gifts. Not anywhere near enough, but I have a handle on the holiday, and it's not even Thanksgiving yet.

For some reason, Hubby's Cat has decided to spend some time with me, on occasion. I have no idea why. Or maybe I do. Maybe she has just noticed my recent small victories, and wants me to know I finally do not suck.

For the Foghat Fan

EVERYBODY needs a ladies' size Medium tank top, signed by the members of Foghat. Am I right?

That's the way, uh-huh, uh-huh, I like it, uh-huh

I have been pissing and moaning about the cold, rainy weather and short days to just about everyone. Endless summer, where did you go? Today, lemme make up for that a bit with Things I Like:

Leaf stains: you know, when leaves fall on the sidewalk and it's rainy and they get plastered there and then a couple of days later they get swept OFF the sidewalk and the tannins (or whatever) have made stains on the sidewalk in the shapes of the leaves? I think that is beautiful. I think we need more sidewalks, not just for safe walking and general orderliness, but also for the fall leaf art.

Claritin: because November is when my allergies kick in. Claritin D, you are especially awesome.

Long drives: and tomorrow, I get to take one, as I'll be covering a meeting a couple of hours from the Happy Boondocks.

Teenagers: Especially boys. And it's a good thing, too, because my house is full of them, much of the time.

My laptop: No, I LOVE my laptop. Nothing makes solitary housework go faster than being able to drag the laptop around and IM people. Even if all we're IMing about is the general boring nature of the day. Cherry Blossom, I'm talking to YOU!

Scented Candles: BJs sells a line made by the Yankee Candle people--so, you know, smells like the real thing at 1/4 the price. Yesterday I got a new candle. Smells like punch-under-the-Christmas-tree. And covers up the scent of Dog Ownership.

My Spot: When Hubby is watching TV in bed, one of our cats generally parks herself in his right armpit. That Damn Dog takes a knee. The other cat may take up a guard position at the corner of the bed. That leaves me left-side-of-Hubby. It is the snuggliest spot anywhere, and I love it.

And, this morning, as is the case most days, I love me some unsweetened, iced black tea.

Advice for the President-Elect

Sure, I have my opinions on what President Obama should do, once he's in office. Somehow I doubt he'd be interested in my ideas on missile defense in Poland. I'm no expert in international relations.

As a mom, though, let me set the man straight.

In a couple of months, President Obama is going to move his family across the country. He will have a new job, arguably one of the most important jobs in the nation. His wife will have a new job, too. They'll have a new house which they pretty much have to redecorate. Their daughters will be in new schools. The entire family is going to be exhausted, and stressed, and disoriented. They'll be lucky to spend time together, just the four of them.

Honey, now is not the time to get a new puppy.

Chaaaaaaange

Obama Win Causes Obsessive Supporters To Realize How Empty Their Lives Are

It's not an "extra", it's a "necessity"

10:00 Spilled OJ on the seat of my car. Cleaned it up. Went inside. Washed my hands.
10:05 loaded the dishwasher. Washed my hands.
10:07 loaded the washing machine. Washed my hands.
10:20 found dog poop on the bedroom rug. Washed my hands.
10:25 went to the bathroom. Washed my hands.
10:30 found dog poop on the living room rug. Washed my hands.

Yeah, right about now if I don't use some hand lotion my arms are going to fray.

Yeah, I voted

The thing about guys who wear shirts like this

We have several pictures of this guy, with members of the band. But the thing I always think is, "The dude with the shirt on put it on so he could spend the evening wrapping his arm around guys."

I think we know who REALLY loves the cock, don't we?

You know what I blame this on the breakdown of?

Last night we had one trick-or-treater. One.

We also had someone come by to steal our pumpkin.

Yeah, the pumpkin that I did not have to carve, this year, so I was going to cook it. So I was going to get a holiday decoration AND food out of it. It is probably smashed on the highway right now.

You know what I blame this on the breakdown of?

Society.

Pounding Sand at Cadillac Jack's

Hubby's latest band, Pounding Sand, played their first paying gig tonight.
The drummer's wife was there, and a few friends of the band, and a few other people, but basically it was a quiet night.

Except.

The singer's girlfriend's sister got beat up in the parking lot. Six police cars responded to the scene.

I got there after 5 of the cruisers had left, and realized that I have a plan in place for these situations: If you arrive at a bar with a cop car in the parking lot, park next to the cop car.

See? I am bolder than those people who might see a cop car and keep driving.

A guy we know arrived rather lit. He continued drinking. He danced with the singer's girlfriend, drank the drummer's wife's White Russian, told us all he wanted to get married but "didn't know how to make it happen", and then stumbled into someone carrying a tray full of drinks, so that the straw wedged itself behind his eyeglasses.

He left after that.

The group of us who came to see the band sat together while the band packed up and critiqued the evening. That's not something I usually do with anyone other than Hubby, but it was interesting none the less. It's good to hear other people's perspectives. For the most part, they agreed with me on what went well, and what went badly.

Now, Hubby is home, going over the tapes, and I am looking over the leftover Halloween candy. The bowl is suffering from continued overcrowding. I'll have to do something about that.

On a semi-related note, at one point the guitarist, embarrassed by a mistake he made, said, "I'm not getting laid, tonight!" and Hubby leaned into his microphone and said, "But I will."

I think I have become altogether too predictable. Not that I'm going to change on that score!