Sunday, December 13, 2009

The "So This Is It, We're Going to Die" Calendar

We live within 10 miles of a nuclear power plant. That is not really important, most of the time, excepting the following occasions:

Noon, the first Monday of the month: the holycrap alarm sounds. Don't worry, they're just messin' with ya.

Since 9/11, about every 4 years (I think) we get iodine pills to protect our thyroid, should the holycrap alarm sound when it is NOT the first Monday of the month, at noon.

And just before Christmas, we get the Public Emergency Response Information Calendar. It's full of helpful hints for what to do in the case of a nuclear power plant-related emergency.

I just call it, "So this is it, we're going to die."

Because not only do we live within 10 miles of a nuclear power plant, we also live on a peninsula with one main road in and out. Should things go to crap, our Calendar suggests we get on the road and head south. But you know what? Everyone else got the Calendar, too. They'll ALL be going south. On the same road. At the same time. With, presumably, iodide pills in their system.

Mom says we should head north, instead, towards her. Every once in a while I explain to her that that would require we drive TOWARDS and PAST the nuclear power plant. And ain't no way I am doing that. Can't blame Mom for thinking even a major nuclear event is reason for us to bring the Grandkids up, I guess.

Eh, in the words of my grandfather, when you're number's up, you're number's up.

On the up side, now I don't need to buy a 2010 calendar.


Anonymous said...

At least you get iodine pills. They would probably point us to the nearest gun store to get ammo to wait it out and see who lived.

Christine said...

See, that is one of the many reasons why I want to move to Texas.

It was funny, really, and I blogged about it at the time--the nurse handed me the pills and said, "But really, you know, put your head between your knees and kiss your ass goodbye". So, heading down to the Tackle Box for some freak-bustin' ammo might be a worthwhile diversion, until traffic clears.

ALF said...

Well I hope the alarm doesn't sound at any unexpected times. Because if it does, I will have zero Internet friends who can still read my blog. And that will make me sad.

Christine said...

ALF-Wow, I am IT?!

I think very few of my non-internet friends read the blog. They perhaps recognize it for the unmitigated yammering that it is...

ALF said...

Yup, you're the only person I don't know in real life who can still read my blog. Weird, huh?

Jill/Twipply Skwood said...

As long as you don't need the calendar, maybe you can forgo the holiday shopping too?

Jill/Twipply Skwood said...

Chistine - YES! I think you're the last internet friend who gets to see Alf's husband using the dog for a desk. And who even KNOWS what he's going to use the baby for. You'll tell us, won't you? :-)