Hubby's Favorite Meatloaf

Hubby grew up in a restaurant family: not just a family that ate out a lot, but a family with a lot of restaurant owners in it.

I grew up in a house where, well, if it was Friday we were eating tuna patties and it didn't matter if they were horrible it was Friday and Mom had made them and there were children starving in Asia and finish your peas.

This sometimes means that I have a hard time cooking for him. It's a cultural difference.

And then there are times when, well, the fact that he is a guy completely overrules all of that, and he eats stuff I cannot imagine ever putting in my mouth.

Like the time he fished a week-old pork chop out of the dog's dish. Yeah. He did that.

The other night, I was going to make meatloaf. For reasons which will become abundantly clear, it turned into one of those items I would never, ever eat. But Hubby was thrilled. So, here's

Hubby's Favorite Meatloaf
*Defrost a bag of frozen ground beef.

*Take off your mother's ring, and slide it onto the finger with your wedding ring on it, because that ring does. not. come. off. (it could, it just isn't gonna)

*Dump the defrosted meat in a bowl. Add 2 eggs. Add the last of Emeril's BAM IT! Salad Seasoning because lately everything you put that stuff on turns to familial culinary gold.

*Contemplate adding some oats, or quinoa, or cracker crumbs, because you usually do, but...Hubby is on a low-carb diet, so decide to skip that.

*Smoosh everything together with your one bare hand. It's clean, because you are a mom so you wash your hands all day.

*Dump it into a loaf pan, and smoosh it up against one end so there is a slice of loaf-less pan in which the fat can collect.

*Cover it in KC Masterpiece barbeque sauce.

*Bake it at 450 for an hour.

*Leave the house, and remember that the meatloaf is nearly done.

*Call home, and tell whoever answers the phone to turn off the oven, because you're going to be driving all over town.

*Get home an hour later, and discover that the meatloaf is still baking. Turn off the oven.

*Declare the meatloaf completely inedible, because it resembles the world's largest Kingsford briquette. Make grilled cheese for the Sons. Go to bed.

*Wake up the next morning and discover the briquette is STILL in the oven. It is black and hard and cold. Mention you are going to throw it away.

*When you see Hubby's distraught face, shove the charred thing in a tupperware container and put it in the fridge. Wait 10 hours.

*Microwave the lump.

For some reason, burned, abandoned food really appeals to my husband. I think the only thing I could have done to improve it would have been if I had let the dog lick it, first.