Before you contact us, please browse through the following FAQs; we may have already answered your question!
Where are the socks?
I think they are in Son #3 or Son #4's rooms. They don't wear socks all that much, so they tend to collect there.
Have you fed/walked the dog?
Yes. Don't listen to him, he lies.
Is Son #1 there?
No. If he were here, he would have answered the phone before I had a chance. He is at work.
How can you tell your cats apart?
Jake is bigger. He is rougher looking. He has a pointy face and a white spot on his hind foot. Ellie is soft, delicate, and feminine.
Were you trying for a girl?
Who are you here with?
The bass player. Or, alternatively, the drummer. Because Hubby can do both.
Where did you get those shoes?
The thrift store. Almost always. Some chick with fantastic taste in shoes keeps dumping them and I LOVE HER.
When are you going to get a full-time job?
When I am no longer in charge of all these sons, I think.
Can I have some tea?
Can we go to Blockbuster today?
Can we get pizza/Chinese food/5 Guys Burgers & Fries for dinner?
What gas goes in the lawn mower?
When is the internet going to be back?
Go ask your father.
What kind of stuff do you write?
I used to do a lot of advertorial stuff. I write features for commercial and trade magazines, and I have written some creative nonfiction for anthologies, and a few short fiction pieces. I have also done some writing for corporate web sites. I will write pretty much anything, if you pay me. That's why Hubby calls me "Presstitute".
If this does not answer your question, feel free to contact us at Total Waste of Time. Your time is very important to us! Have a great day.