Thursday, December 13, 2007

Can you hear the F word under my breath?


The past few evenings, the Sons have been all up in each other's business. Much yelling, pestering, and tears. People stomping around. People Refusing to Get Out of the Car. It's a laugh a minute, over here. And of course they all have to talk to Mom about it, because it is all my fault that He Has It So Easy or He Is Such A Loser or He Is Being A Jerk or He Gets Away With Everything or He Is Trying To Get His Butt Kicked. They are all pointing the finger at each other, and all loaded for bear. I, apparently, am that bear.

By the time Hubby and I extricate ourselves from the turmoil that is 4 sons between the ages of 11 and 16, we are exhausted and bummed. Our evening is shot.

Tonight is Open Mic, and I WANT TO GO. I want Hubby to go. I want to have FUN, dammit! Away from bickering and yammering. And at this point, I don't know if we'll be able to go, because I don't know if we can leave the Sons at home unsupervised for 4 lousy hours. This makes me crazy.

Yesterday, Son #1 got dragged to a meeting wherein he was supposed to talk about his "First Gay Experience". An experience he has not had, because, of course, he was only at the Gay-Straight Alliance meeting because 2 hot girls had him by the hands and pulled him into the room. He and the other straight guy (also in the company of 2 hot girls) felt pressured to be something they are not. They were uncomfortable. And hearing about it last night made me uncomfortable, too.

Because, to me, talking about your sexual experiences is not for a group of random strangers and 2 hot girls you don't know well. Those conversations are for intimates. Like, your spouse. Your sex partner, or potential sex partner, if you need to warn them that you have a past. Maybe your best friend. But, of course, the school thinks that I am anti-sex, anti-gay, bigoted, etc, for wanting my son to keep his most private, personal thoughts and feelings and experiences in a private, personal place. I throw my hands in the air, I go nuts.

Today, Hubby asked me to fight with the dental insurance company. They won't pay for his crown, because they think he has had that tooth crowned already, less than 5 years ago. But they are wrong. The other crown was on an adjacent tooth. So I call, and get disconnected. And I call again, and they won't talk to me without Hubby's express authorization. So I will have to wait and call while Hubby is in the room, so I can hand him the phone. Which kind of makes me feel superfluous to the whole process.

I am feeling frustrated and grumpy and totally on my last nerve.

Yesterday, Hubby had to sign four separate sympathy cards. Including one for an infant. I just found out we're going to that baby's funeral, today. And yes, that totally puts all my problems into something like perspective. I have four healthy sons who are driving each other nuts, and a husband with functional crowns. I have a kid who is willing to try just about anything, for a girl, except lying about having a more Interesting sex life than he really has. I think some people would gladly trade their problems for mine, today. Especially the parents of that poor baby.



Anonymous said...

Love ya.


SherryTex said...

Hang in there, death by minutia is common this time of year. I just made a cake for a bake sale, had flipped it beautifully, took care of cleaning the living room only to return to four gaping 2 year old sized hand holes in my cake. Guess what we're having for lunch.

Ms. Q said...

It IS easy to have what is essentially "noise" drown out our still small voice - the voice that whispers what is important to us.

As sherrytex wrote: "Death by minutia" - Indeed!

However, it IS okay to feel overwhelmed at times. We can't be Zen Goddesses 24/7 that is for freakin' sure!

Sounds like Son#1 handled himself well and has enough sense of who he is not to be false to himself.

Great attitude about being grateful for your "problems!"

As someone who was recently laid off, I was told, "at least you don't have any burdens (meaning children)."

I responded with, "I dunno. I think having or not having children is neither good nor bad. I would think and hope that someone with children were happy to have them. There are people out there who would love to have such "burdens.""

I know the person meant to cheer me up but I don't like thinking of children as burdens.

Regarding sharing your sexual experiences with strangers? Uh...if there is some POINT to it, perhaps (therapeutic, increasing intimacy and trust...) but just for sharing's sake? urk. Especially for people under age 18.

I don't consider myself particularly old-fashioned or a prude but I probably am. I don't really think that a person is well, emotionally equipped to handle sex before age 18. Oh, the parts sure do work but cognition? Hahahah. Out da winder.

A few of my very close friends have had tragedies. One lives life day by day with a situation many could not endure. Yet he does not whine or complain. I don't know how he handles it. I see how he handles his life and it inspires me. I don't have problems.

Life is definitely about balance! I hope you managed to have some FUN and you definitely know what is important in life.

ALF said...

I hope you're feeling better!