Genius Product of the Day: Porno Carpeting

The Sons just don't get it. For the life of them, they are incapable of putting laundry in the hamper or trash in the garbage can.

I've tried telling them. I've done the "don't put it away for them, call them into the room and make them do it" thing. I've put wastebaskets in every room. All to no avail. As a friend put it yesterday, they just do not see the baskets and bins I've stationed throughout the house.

And that's when it hit me: They see naked people.

I want Playboy-quality photographs of hot young women on the floors of my house, in both carpet and tile. Not only will my sons constantly be looking down, they'll be loathe to let anything cover the view. The graphic depictions of male sex organs painted on the inside of my hampers and garbage cans will be perfect inspiration for them, too.

Yes, my female friends and I will find the decor a bit unsettling, at first, but I figure it will not only greatly increase the frequency and length of visits from males of all ages, it will serve as diet and exercise inspiration to us all.

And Hubby's friends will constantly remind him that he has the coolest wife ever.

I can't lose.