Sunday, August 10, 2008

Let Me Ask You This, Am I The Ultimate Fighting Champion?

Hey there, ALF here from over at I Shot A Man in Reno. Christine was kind enough to let me guest blog today as she makes her way home from what I know was an awesome time in New York. You went to New York, right Christine? If not, you should have.

As you all know, Christine has four sons. This is a fact that intrigues me to no end. Four sons. Four of them. All boys. That just seems like so much fun. I don't have any children but I do hope that one day I will have some and if things work out, I would really like to have four of them. My husband and I have discussed it and we both agree that four children seems like just the right amount of mayhem needed for our lives to be complete.

My husband would be beyond pleased if we had four children and they all were boys. The reason for this, as far as I can tell, is that he has developed a fool proof disciplinary technique to handle boys.

Are you ready for it?

The answer to disciplining sons, according to my childless husband, is to construct an ultimate fighting octagon in the backyard.

When the time comes that there are differences in opinion between the son and my husband, they will simply take the conversation out to the octagon and settle it there. The rules will work like this: once you can beat dad in the ultimate fighting octagon then you can do whatever you want. Until then, you'll do what dad says.

He has decided the ultimate fighting octagon is no place for women and girls. He believes that there will be "fight nights" with titles such as "Mom Don't Look Tuesday" and "Watch Out Sunday".

This is the same man who is currently waiting not so patiently for me to be finished here so that he can search the Internet for a place to buy a two stroke blender - instead of buttons to control blending speed, it has a motorcycle throttle.

Welcome home, Christine.

14 comments:

Sue said...

To Mr. ALF,

Good luck with that fighting strategy. Sometimes kids use words instead of fists, even boys.

Melissa said...

Bwhahah! Will this be put in before or after the grass grows in? ;)

Csquaredplus3 said...

As the mother of 3 sons - yeah - good luck with that...

Sue's spot-on!

Sarah said...

WOw, he is willing to put the octagon on top of his grass?!

Christine said...

Hubby LOVES the idea of the Ultimate Fighting Octagon. I say, build it now, so that it is ready when the time comes.

And he NEEDS that blender. He had no idea one existed, but now that he's heard it, he needs it. Desperately.

Misplaced Country Girl said...

Wait a second....he won't let the dogs walk on the grass but, he is willing to build an ultimate fighting cage out there for the children? He's going to give those poor dogs a complex.

Andrea said...

LOVE IT. I have two boys, 12 and 4. I'm pretty sure the 4 year old could take his older brother.

kbreints said...

This sounds like somthing that my husband would come up with-- though I am pretty sure my living room is already an ultimate fighting arena!

Katie said...

Don't listen to any naysayers. This idea is perfect. Builds character, that's what it does. I can only hope for all boys, because the thought of parenting a girl that might be anything like me scares me to no end. Although if I do end up with four girls I'll just make them all share a bathroom. So pretty much the same idea...

Claudious said...

I have two boys, and two girls, and I do this with the boys all the time, we don't fight to the death or anything silly like that, but before bed I like to make sure they're exhausted. And it's good exercise for me too. This is great!

TW said...

"My husband and I have discussed it and we both agree that four children seems like just the right amount of mayhem needed for our lives to be complete."

Be careful what you wish for...you may get it!

Wendy said...

My husband is an mixed martial arts fighter. When Noah starts to really get on his nerves he just throws some fake moves and they start playing.

Thomas would totally love this idea. Therefore, I won't be telling him!

HiHoRosie said...

Hysterical! I'd like the fighting octagon for myself - not just for boys! And the 2 stroke blender? That's awesome!

Sunny said...

I laughed out loud when I read this because I know my husband and son would love this idea.