Monday, January 12, 2009

Victoria's Secret Burned My Dinner!

Last night I joined some local ladies for a night in the hot tub. A sedate affair, and relaxing, but as the youngest woman there I had to rock the cleavage, right?

OK, so today I washed my tankini in the washing machine. And when it came out, the push-up pads had fallen out.

And they look weird.

I wasn't sure how to get them in right, but I gave it a shot. And they didn't look right to me.

"I need a tutorial," I thought. So, I put dinner on the stove and called Customer Service.

Barry just laughed and transferred me to one of his female coworkers. Such disappointment! Isn't that why Barry got a job at the Vic Secret Customer Service hotline? Eh, maybe not.

Boy, that rice smells good. Just about time to put the pork chops on, as soon as I talk to Marissa.

She was no help, either. Apparently all the push-up pads in their suits are the same, they go in the same, there is no instruction or chart or anything, I just have to fiddle with it and play with it and eventually it will smooth out.

Or, you know, not.

Around this time, I noticed the burning smell.

So, now it is nearly 7, I am on a second pot of rice, the pork chops are half cooked, and I have a deconstructed tankini top on my desk. Which I shall play with until it looks right.

I hope.


Anonymous said...

Interesting ... just plain interesting.


Cynthia said...

Gee Christine....feeling a bit deflated? Heee heee heeee....

Anonymous said...

Oh I hate those padding things! They come in bras too and always get squished around so I look like I have one boob that's trying to escape! They properly get on my tits! (Ha! I kill me!)

Rol said...


Christine said...

Knot--glad to give you a little mental fodder.

Cynthia--not deflated, exactly, so much as...hmm....not even sure what the word is.

Penelope--if they DID properly get on my tits, I'd be happy! but yes, you are a laff riot.

A bikini is a two-piece bathing suit, right?

A Tank Suit is one piece. Makes almost NOBODY look good, and dreadfully uncomfortable. But at least it is modest, if that is what you're looking for.

A Tankini is 2 pieces, like a bikini, but the upper piece is long. Kind of like wearing bikini bottoms and a tank top. So you get the comfort of a bikini, and a bit more coverage, if you are of the modest sort---or if you have 4 teenage children and the mushy middle to go with it.

So, there you go, Rol: you learn something new every day.

Jill/Twipply Skwood said...

Which is why I try not to cook. KIDDING!

I try not to cook because I hate cleaning up afterward. But I have this problem in that I like to eat...

To follow the same line of thinking as Penelope, those pad thingies sound like a pain in the...boob.

Christine said...

Jill- Yes, although I sometimes enjoy the cooking process, a lot of the time I have to stifle the urge to just tell the whole family we are having peanut butter on Ritz crackers, eaten over the sink.